


Too Bad She Won't Live

by Heavenlyrat



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Action, Adventure, Eventual Romance, F/M, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, Tragic Romance, happy ending? maybe, hence title, i dont know what im doing but i keep doing it, idk - Freeform, maybe not, think bladerunner
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:55:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 31,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28735326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heavenlyrat/pseuds/Heavenlyrat
Summary: V is back, but something isn't right. Her body's moving on its own... she hasn't eaten in days. The last sane part of her knows what this is, she's seen it, fought it, hundreds of times before: Cyberpsychosis.Maybe Johnny can help her overcome what could be her greatest trial yet... that is, if she doesn't kill him first.This is... kind of canon. Eventual Johnny x female V.
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/Female V, V/River Ward
Comments: 23
Kudos: 144





	1. Vik Gets a Call

She'd been out for a month. Hell, it felt like longer. Vik was a good doc, everyone in Night City knew it - but he wasn't God. And this wasn't implants. Her brain... her mind needed time. And time was all he really had to give. So he cared for her, and watched her, wondering all the while if she'd ever, really wake up.

He hadn't meant for it to happen, hell it was probably the most gonked thing he ever did. But he cared for V like a daughter, truly. When she'd shown up on his doorstep all those months ago cut to high heaven, with a quick tongue and even quicker hook, he'd known she was something special. She had no family to speak of, and neither did he. Seemed like a perfect fit, well, as perfect as a family could be in NC. And that's what they'd been for a time, him, her, Misty & Jack. Weird peas in an even weirder pod. 

So, when she disappeared for days on end, pulled into another job by the ring of her impatient holo, he always worried. She was strong and she was fast, but NC was cruel, and its inhabitants, crueller still. It wasn't his place, nor was she his worry to bear. But... he owed her, she'd really given him something rare, something strong and steadfast in an unreliable, shell of a place, full of empty promises and crushed dreams. 

This wouldn't be her end - wasn't right. She'd live to fight another day, she had to.

Vik's holo rang then, and he was almost grateful; contemplating life didn't suit him too well.

"Unknown Number"

Weird. Rarely happened to him, normally his upgrades could at least give him a name...

"Who is it?" He asked gruffly, not in the mood for some marketing bullshit.

"Vik - Viktor. You don't know me, but I know you. Need your help." The voice was gravelly and distant, almost as if the speaker was very, very far away.

"Who is this? Look, if you're trying to sell-"

"Vik - it's _Johnny_."

Vik froze.

Then he ran.

He almost slipped on the way to V's room, and collapsed when he saw her. Unmoving. Unharmed. Silent. Just as she had been. He didn't know what he'd expected... that V would be moving about, with Johnny speaking through her? Honestly, it wouldn't have been the first time.

"How..?" was all that the doc could manage.

He was sure Johnny was gone, sent beyond the Blackwall, unable to return. That's what he'd assumed anyways, from the last conversation that he'd had with V.

"It's a long story", breathed the voice, "but basically... I'm in need of some help - big time."

**

Vik hadn't told anyone about the Johnny call. Hell, he didn't really have anyone to tell. The only person who could've helped in this situation was, unfortunately, comatose. And the person responsible, was the one who kept calling.

It all started polite enough, but then it got rather demanding. Made Vik wonder how V'd been able to take it for so long. Johnny was... kind of a dick. Always bitching about something, always annoyed... the damned bastard STILL wouldn't shut up about Arasaka. He really knew how to hold a grudge. Might just be the best grudge-holder in the world.

Still, when the 100,000 eddies flashed into his account out of nowhere, Vik thought it might be a good idea to listen. So, he'd paid vague attention to Johnny's ramblings about the Blackwall, how he hated it, and how he'd uncovered what was left of his corpse. He could get it to him - God knows how - and all it needed to be 'functional' was a couple hundred 'netics and some TLC.

Vik wouldn't have called himself a holy man, but he definitely had ethics. And even if they were rather loose, this was asking a lot. He would essentially be reanimating a corpse, one that had basically killed V, for that matter.

However, when the second round of eddies flashed into his account, Vik decided he'd rather go to hell rich.


	2. Mess at the Motel

A couple of months ago, I would have sworn that it would be a cold day in hell before I breathed in the musty city air and _liked it_ , ate Buck-A-Slice by choice, and missed Johnny Silverhand mouthing off inside my brain.

I shook my head at the thought. Man, life was weird. Or, maybe, that was just Night City.

Its name, in honour of its founder, never seemed more appropriate than during the dawn. The night was all it had, was when it shone out like a real-life gem, and could hide its ugliness in shadow. At dawn, all that was over, and silence swept through the streets like water, drowning out the fun and crime and violence of the night, cooling the roads before the next match was struck, just in time for breakfast. The way I saw it, didn't matter who sat here now - Johnny, me, or no one at all. Night City would churn away, and the corpos and the dolls and the gangs and the mercs would keep on comin'. The cycle would go on, forever.

I could imagine Johnny in my head now, telling me to ' _fuck off_ '. He'd always had a way with words.

It was a strange thing, the silence that had replaced him. Once so rare and sought after, it seemed lonely to me now. Stranger still how a ghost who'd once tried to kill me had become a choom. A close one, at that.

My holo rang then, shattering the early calm.

"Lost, _again_?" I asked sarcastically, before I'd even seen her face.

"Where are you?" Asked Panam sharply, one carefully sculpted brow raised. "You said your place, but I'm here and..." She flung her arms up, dramatically "... _nada_."

"On the roof!" I said, panning my holo around so she could see. "I've got views and I've got beer."

Panam laughed, "Beer for breakfast? I like your style, V! See you in 2." And then she hung up.

Panam had come over to ask me, again, about joining up with the Aldecaldros, now that the Relic 'situation' was over. I had 6 months to live... why not live it surrounded by family and the open road? It was something that I'd been chewing on all night, which was why I'd told her I wanted to meet ASAP. I wanted to be honest with her and I just hoped, and prayed, and hoped some more, that she would understand.

She clambered up to the roof-top, huffing and puffing.

"I dunno, Pan, seem a little heavy on your feet there. Sure you ain't been slacking while I was out cold?" I joked, pulling her up by the shoulder.

My month long stay at Vic's B&B for the maimed and comatose had been... dull. I'd been out cold the first two weeks, and in and out for the next. The final one had bored me to tears. Literally. I'd basically begged Vic to let me out, but he'd been apprehensive about the engram. It had been a job well done though, at least, that was how it seemed. No problems thus far, and that was definitely a win.

I'd never have enough eddies to repay Vik - but I had 6 months left to try. And, that was kind of what I had to talk to Panam about.

"Funny!" She scoffed. "Don't have weird cybernetic calves like you V, which makes it a little harder..."

She threw herself into the couch, and reached for a beer.

I rolled my eyes. They were tendons, not calves.

"So," she began, taking a huge gulp. "What's the biz?"

"Look..." I wasn't an awkward person, hell, I had enough charisma to get me around the city with ease. But I couldn't bullshit with Pan, she was, by all accounts, my best choom. But this was awkward, hard even. I wanted nothing more than to run off into the sunset with her, leaving a trail of dust and beer bottles in our wake. But I couldn't, not yet, I had debts to pay, to Jackie... to Vic.

"I know what you're gonna say, V." She mused quietly, eyes on me. "I want you to come with me, you're family, and I don't think staying here's gonna do you any good. But, you are your own person - for the first time in a while. You have to do what you want."

I sighed loudly, taking a swig of my own beer. "You know me, Pan." I laughed. "Maybe too well."

She hummed. "Uh-huh. Now explain, why the cold feet?"

"I... I gotta stay. Don't know why exactly, but, feel like I have more to do here. Finally made it to the top - y'know? That was all Jackie ever wanted, and feel like I should live it out for a bit, for him."

She didn't look convinced, "Jackie would want you to be happy, V - you know that, right?"

"Yea," and she was right. "But there's more. Owe Vik a lot - not just eddies, but that's where I can start. My holo's been ringing non-stop since I woke up, high paying jobs too. Feel weird not taking them, feels like a waste."

She nodded slowly, eyes on the dawn. "I think..." she started, and then stopped herself. That wasn't like her at all.

"Go on." I encouraged, "You've never been shy before."

She laughed at that, and then got serious. "Look V, I think this whole Johnny things messed you up. Don't exactly know what the situation with you two was, but... seems like you miss him. I think you're staying here cause you're not ready to say goodbye." She turned an eye to me. "Am I wrong?"

It was my turn to laugh, "Nope, sounds pretty spot on, sadly. Thought once everything was over, Arasaka, Johnny, everythin'... that I could just go on as before. Turns out, my before wasn't all that great."

"Yea well, even I could tell that. Your apartments not exactly preem real estate."

"Better than a tent."

Panam glared at me, "Well, that tents still there, waiting, for whenever you realise how wrong you are. You'll have to find us though... moving again soon."

It made my heart drop, to know that the Aldecaldros wouldn't be close for long. "Yea, well, keep in touch."

"Always do." she said, holding up her beer.

We cheers-ed, just as the sun rose fully.

"And V..." she said, eyes still on the horizon. "Keep fighting."

***

"Look, I dunno who put you up to this - but, I can pay you - double, triple even!"

I rolled my eyes. "How dumb d'you think I am? Know you're broke."

The man pulled out his shiny pistol, a last ditch effort to save his good-for-nothing skin. Lucky for him, I didn't need to slice his head of, my deamon had just finished loading in, and his synapses burnt, frying his brain then and there.

"Corpo scum." I breathed, stepping over his corpse and scrolling quickly through his computer. I'd never been particularly fond of corpos, but since Johnny, I was practically enraged by the mere sight of them.

Wakako called me then, congratulating me on a job well done, and she sent my payment through promptly.

"Thanks Wakako, keep me in the loop." I said, leaving the grotty motel room.

"Of course, V..." And then she was gone.

It was a beautiful, sunny day in Rancho Coronado. Well, maybe beautiful was pushin' it, but the skies were clear and the motel car park was full of people. Some where jamming away to music, others were gangers, making no end of devious plans, I assumed.

A familiar itch came over me, and I reached into my trench coat for a cig. I'd berated Johnny for well over a month about what a disgusting habit it was, and how I, under no circumstances, would divulge him with a real-life nicotine blast. After the whole... Evelyn thing though, I'd given in. Thought it would calm the nerves, y'know? And it had - it _did_. There was nothing like a quiet puff after flatlining a bastard, that was for sure. Wasn't like it would kill me either, my body was doing that all by itself.

"Can I bum one?" asked a man, definitely a 6th Street member if the bad fashion sense was anything to go by. He was eyeing me up like a piece of real meat.

"Jog on, choom." I sneered, taking off. So much for that beautiful day.

"Hey, don't be like that babe-" and he grabbed my forearm suddenly.

I'd meant to bat him off, yea, he was a dick - but I hadn't meant to _kill_ him. But, without warning, my mantis blades retracted, slicing his hand (and most of his arm) clean off. It took me by surprise, shock even. I just stood there, gawking. I hardly noticed when his buddies opened fire on me.

A bullet grazing my arm brought me back to.

Everyone was yelling. Him, rolling around on the ground, bleeding out. The bystanders who'd been enjoying the sun. There was even a kid there.

I backed out, deflecting the other bullets coming my way with my blades, and jumped on my bike. My arm stung, and blood was dripping down my fingers, but I ignored it. 

I revved the engine and the loyal Arch roared into the street, leaving the mess at the motel behind.


	3. An Old Friend

When River Ward had pictured himself, old and grey and on some dusty porch out in the Badlands, he'd always imagined some homey, pretty, girl-next-door by his side. She'd probably worked on a farm, or maybe she'd dreamt of making it big in Night City, only to be chewed up and spat out - like it did with everyone. Well, nearly everyone.

So, his 'relationship' with V - it felt strange to call it that, maybe friends-with-benefits suited them better - had definitely surprised him. She was independent, charming and definitely a little scary. Honestly, the first time he'd met her he hadn't looked at her twice, no, he had, but not because of any attraction. She was... average height, and pretty slim considering her strength. Her hair then had been a dark green, tied up in a high-pony tail. Her lips the same shade, to match. He remembered her tattoo - "Johnny + V". He'd rolled his eyes internally when he'd seen it. She was a merc in love - how tragic. Now, with context, he hated himself for making that assessment.

Her clothes had been... suitably outrageous. And in all the time they'd spent together since, that had never changed. Her favourite; bright gold pants, black knee-high boots, a glittery bra of some description and a trench coat. Always a trench coat. She looked fearsome, and as his niece and nephew liked to tell her; "cool". They'd never called River cool.

Joss had asked her where she got it all once; her and River having assumed she frequented the Mox-run stalls in the parts of the city that they avoided. But, as was often the case with V, she'd thrown them a curve ball and said Jinguji. Joss's jaw had hit the floor. Her outfits, mad as they were, were probably worth more than their caravan.

So, when he'd got the call, from some poor son-of-a-bitches girlfriend, telling him that a 'gold-wearing, mantis-blade wielding glitter bitch' had off-ed her man in broad daylight, he was pretty sure he knew who she was referring to.

***

I'd been busy, really busy, and the only down time I'd allowed myself had been sleep. Last night... I'd dreamt of Johnny. We'd been running some gig together; shooting the shit and bickering. Just the usual, pre-Relic removal biz, nothing out of the ordinary or particularly noteworthy. But when I'd woken up, with the harsh light of the city ad's illuminating my shitty ceiling, I'd wished for nothing more than it to be real.

God, I really was pathetic.

I pulled myself out of bed and stretched, my muscles ached from the day before. The gig had seemed simple enough; all I'd had to do was break this woman - nice gal - out of the Downtown hospital. No big deal. And it had gone smoothly enough, we were in and out like ghosts, no one was any the wiser.

But after I'd packed the lady into her ride, some merc had tried to take me out! That was fucking rich. Any and all gonks - no matter the eddies - should have known better. Said gonk's body was now stuffed, indiscriminately, in a trash can.

Anyway... today was a new day. I had a quick shower and gave myself a once over in the mirror. I'd definitely looked better. A bruise was forming just under my lip from where that asshole had hit lucky. I'd be faster next time.

I went to touch it, and judge the damage, thinking I could probably cover it with a spot of makeup. Just as skin met skin, my arm whizzed to life - I pulled it away from my face, as quickly as I could.

Not quickly enough.

My blades were out, and a thin streak of blood stood fresh against my pale cheek.

The fucking blades... something was definitely up with them. I needed Vic to have a look. I knew I did. But the fear of something being wrong, of me being put back in that sick bed... I couldn't deal with it. Not yet. I just had to be more careful.

I cleaned my face - carefully - put on my makeup, and dawned the most gaudy trench coat that I owned. It was time to go meet a friend.

***

Brooklyn Barista - specifically, the one in Kabuki - was a grim affair. The decor hadn't changed since I was a kid. The coffee tasted like it had been brewed back then too. But, it was safe. There wouldn't be anyone listening in on anything said; it was even too shitty for the scumbags.

I was never one to be early, didn't really fit with the whole badass merc image that I was running, so I arrived a little after the hour. Didn't take me long to find who I was looking for; with that fur collar, he was hard to miss.

I scooted up the booth to sit directly opposite him, a stupid grin plastered on my face. I couldn't help it.

"V." Breathed River, his eye intense, his smile, wide.

"Been a while, choom." I responded, lighting up a cig. It was good to see him, truly. "What you after? S'on me."

I waved to the waitress, Jadey-something. She was a nice girl, always admired my clothes.

"A beer for me, Jadey." I said, I hadn't eaten yet today, but I wasn't hungry. I raised an eyebrow at River.

"I'll have the same, please." he said, with a pleasant smile. Always the gentleman.

"2 beers coming up, V." said the waitress, disappearing around the back of the counter.

"You're not getting coffee? It is a coffee place..." said River, eyeing up the coffee machine at the back.

"Nah, you'd be best not to. Tastes like ass. The beers preem, though." I said, thinking back to the last time I'd been here. It had been with Panam. I'd dared her to drink the coffee and she had. I hadn't been back since. Doubted she would be back ever.

River laughed, "Not much you don't know about the city, is there?"

"Too much." I said, rolling my eyes. "Yet, never enough."

Jadey brought out our drinks, and I threw her a generous tip.

River, always observant, commented on it. "You have a soft spot - for kids. You get on well with them."

I laughed, but it was hollow. "You and me both know, kids around here deserve a bit of kindness."

"True." He smirked, before getting serious. "How have you been?"

I went to open my mouth, and gawk out some half-baked, insufferably arrogant and deflective reply. But I couldn't. I guess River meant more to me than I realised.

"...Lonely." was the answer I settled on, I guess. I hadn't really meant to say it... it had kind of just, fallen out.

He raised an eyebrow; it seemed like we'd both been a bit blindsided. "Thought you hated that rockerboy bastard in your brain?"

"I did. I really did, but... got close, y'know? Were real chooms at the end of it all."

It was weird, talking to River about this. I'd always been very... unspecific with him, when it came down to the Johnny stuff. 'Can't believe you made me fuck a cop, V', echoed in my brain. I cringed inwardly.

"I can't imagine V, I doubt many people can - but I'm here. You don't have to be lonely." he said, as sincere as a man could be.

I looked at him, really stared in that human eye, weighing up whether I should thoroughly spill my guts to him. He was one of the few people who really understood me, after all.

"River, I..." I took another swig of beer, for courage. "I've got 6 months left. And then... puff." I made an explosion with my hands.

There was a pause, before River shook his head slowly and smiled... I stared at him, surprised and a little hurt by his reaction.

"Don't believe it." He said, taking a sip of his own beer. "With everything you've pulled off V, Arasaka, getting Johnny out of your head... coming back from the dead! There's no way. You'll - _we'll_ \- fix this."

I smiled, genuinely happy I'd picked up the phone that day, months ago and helped a poor guy find his nephew - even if he was the worlds biggest bullshitter.


	4. Down n' Out

I remembered getting another round, and then another... and then... shots. I remembered falling down the stairs. And I remembered kissing River.

What I didn't remember, was everything after that. But here he was, in my bed. Naked & snoring. So, I could venture a guess at the route the evening took.

I sighed internally. Was this what I wanted? The lonely part of me, the part that cried out for attention, for comfort and stability said yes. But the part of me that had got black out drunk to do it, told me no.

I could sense an awkward conversation approaching. So, like the emotional coward I was, I scurried out of bed, and hopped into the shower.

The hot steam was just what the doctor ordered; it soothed my muscles and washed last nights sins down the drain... kind of. Unfortunately, it didn't take long for it to clash with my impending hangover. My heart began to thump and I got lightheaded, bright white speckling my vision. Not good. I turned off the water and went to sit down on the toilet. God, this was all starting to remind me a little too much of my 25th birthday - all we were missing was the clown.

I'd got about half-way when the lightheadedness took over, it blinded me for a second and I slipped on the wet lino, and then -

He had me against the wall, pistol shakingly pointed at my head. His eyes were wide, fearful and teary. My arm was at his throat, mantis blade drawn and pressing against his windpipe. We were in the living room. I was out of breath, and shaking with... rage?

"... _what_?" was all I managed to choke out. River's expression was scaring me. I tried to retract the blade, but he had me trapped. I looked down - "Why am I _naked_?"

That seemed to soften him a little, and his posture, and hold on me, relaxed.

"V?" he asked, and it was almost a whisper.

"...yea?" I offered, confused and scared. "The fuck happened?!"

He let go of me then, and I slumped against the wall like a rag-doll. My mantis blades folded back into themselves and River sat down on the sofa, head in his hands.

"This is not good, V. Not good." he breathed, not looking at me.

"River - what are you talking about?" I was panicking now - I couldn't remember anything, I'd been having a shower and then... I looked at the blades. They'd been acting up for a while now, pissing me off...

"A few days ago, in Rancho..." Said River, solemnly. He looked at me now, searching for... something. "Did you cut someone up, in broad daylight?"

"What?" I asked, alarmed. How the hell did he know about that? "Yea, it was... a mistake."

River shook his head. "Nope. Not a mistake, V. A symptom."

"Bullshit." I spat, voice laden with venom. I could see where he was going with this, and I didn't like it.

"Think about it, these things happen slowly, you must have noticed..." his tone was pleading, and it infuriated me. Who was he, a fuckin' ex-cop, to come in here and accuse me...

But as my mind raced back over the past week, and the little blips and slip-ups and moments of confusion that had occurred, I couldn't deny that something was definitely wrong.

"Look at yourself, V." and he glanced over my form, "Looks like you haven't eaten in a month."

That was... a fair point. But hey, I was just down in the dumps, it didn't mean squat, right?

I could almost hear Johnny calling me out for my blatant lie.

"I-I..." I started, not sure where I intended to finish.

"You need to go and see Vic, V - now."

"... you're right. You're always right." I sighed. The thought of crawling back to Vic - again - needing help... this was becoming a pattern. And the image of that fucking chair, where I'd already spent a considerable amount of time of late, filled me with dread. But this could, and probably would, get worse. It needed nipped in the bud, ASAP.

"Let me go get changed." I sighed, making my way to the bathroom.

River nodded, lost in thought.

***

River knew as much about Cyberpsychosis as any gonk on the street, which wasn't a lot. He knew it was a mental thing - an illness, that effected those with cybernetics. And by God, did V have enough of those. The girl could have jumped over Arasaka Tower if she'd wanted. He also knew that it wasn't a problem easily fixed.

This had to be to do with the whole 'Relic' thing. Silverhand was still trying to kill her, even from beyond his second grave. And just like the first time, River was a useless bystander.

She was taking a long time in the bathroom, and that worried him. He doubted that she was getting all dolled up to be strapped back into Vic's ripper chair.

"V?" He called, eyes on the door.

No response.

"V!" he called again, banging on the metal this time.

Still, nothing.

"V, i'm coming in!" he said, opening the door, half-expecting to see her there, but knowing better.

The bathroom was completely empty, and the vent lay on the floor. She'd ripped it off the wall and climbed through.


	5. Electric Glass

The world looked different to me now, in the strangest of ways. It was like I finally understood what it meant to be alive.

The palm trees were swaying in steady rhythm to the deep, cybernetic rumble of the Net... not the Net I'd known, that thin fabrication that the Government had forced upon us - but the real one, the one where Alt existed. It was all around, flowing through everything and everyone... how had I never noticed it before?

I could see everything, be everywhere, all at once.

A girl passed by me, she was pretty, with silver cybernetic knees that glistened in the sun. I could feel her breath in the air and the pump of her heart as she moved. She caught my eye and looked at me, guardedly, as if there was something off-putting about my stare.

"Close ya' damn mouth!" she hissed as she walked away.

That... annoyed me. An anger I didn't recognise as my own rippled through me, consuming any logic that had once took residence in my brain. I glared at those knees, and they burst into flames.

I didn't bother to watch, there was so much else to see. I wondered briefly, if this is what Lizzy Wizzy had meant when she'd killed that manager boyfriend of hers. She'd liked who she was becoming, as if she was in tune with some higher power. I'd raised an eyebrow at her then, and thought she'd gone full gonk. But, maybe I'd been the gonk, maybe she'd just been a few steps ahead of me.

I wasn't really walking anywhere in particular... I'd been with River, in my apartment, but... he'd been a kill-joy. No surprise there. So, going home was off limits.

I could go and visit someone but, everyone I knew... I could see them all for who they were now. They'd called me friend, family, lover... but all I had been - _all I was_ \- to them was a goddamn problem solver. A small part of me cried out, rebuked that vision and clung to the idea that they were there for me, that they _cared_ , but I shook it off. At the end of the day, after I'd saved their skins, settled their debts and killed whoever needed killing, they'd booked themselves in for front row seats to my tragic demise. I was a spectacle that they couldn't look away from, like a gory car wreck, or an illegal BD.

Johnny had known me, he'd understood. But, he was gone now.

Thinking of Johnny made me itch for a cigarette, and a drink. I lit one up quickly and called for my bike, craving a 'Johnny Silverhand' at the Afterlife.

***

"V!" Sang Claire, happy to see me. "What'll it be, choom?" she asked, readying a glass.

"A 'Johnny Silverhand'." I said simply, not caring enough to be friendly with her. She was just another gonk who'd used me, after all.

She smiled back, regardless. "Coming right up." And she started to mix.

I observed the club through jaded eyes. Once upon a time, I would've done anything to sit here and have people know my name. Now, everyone did, yet I'd never felt more... detached. It was as if I was beyond my body, looking at the scene with clarity for the first time.

All that ego, all those jobs I'd run with the intention of 'helping' people... for _what_? It hadn't brought me happiness nor fulfilment, all it had got me was a one way ticket to the very literal afterlife.

But now, I could feel something, could see the truth of it all. It was as though I was bleeding into the very essence of the club, and could feel the cybernetics of everyone who danced within its walls. They knew me, but now, I also knew them.

"Y'know," Claire started, not deterred by the silence, "the 'Jackie Welles' has been a big hit lately..."

I looked at her blankly for a second. "Who?" I asked, "Ohhh..." I said, remembering Jackie. I'd considered him a friend, a lifetime ago, but he'd really fucked everything up for me - hadn't he?

"Yea, cool." I said, grabbing the finished drink and downing it in one.

Claire stared at me, eyes searching my face. "Everything ok, V? You seem a little..."

I looked at her, giving her a quick scan. Yep. Still no cybernetics, so, no way to shut her up.

"Just give me the bottle." I said, indicating to the tequila behind her.

She hesitated, before thinking better of it. "Ok..." she said, handing it to me. "But it's going on your tab."

"Whatever..." I said, taking a huge chug and making my way to the dance-floor.

The buzz of the music and the metal, the clicks of the tech that flooded the floor like neon... it was perfect.

I danced and I chugged, and I danced some more. I hadn't felt this good in... _ever_.

"Hey, baby..." swooned a man, large and dressed in dirty leathers. He fell in step with me.

"Fuck off!" I yelled over the crowd, turning to resume my solo party.

"C'mon choomba, don't be like that!" He continued, persisting into my line of sight. He held up his hand, which contained a strange looking pill, neon green and speckled.

I hesitated for only a moment before dropping the bottle to the floor, letting it smash and the remainder of the shitty tequila drench the tiles. I grabbed the pill from his greasy palm and gulped.

***

"C'mon baby, what's taking so long?" asked my new companion. I didn't know his name, and I didn't care to ask.

He'd taken me back to some sleazy motel room, and, with nowhere else to go, I'd simply followed. I'd gone into the bathroom, just to look at myself, to make sure that I was still there. I recognised the face as my own, though it was a stranger who stared back at me now, through the electric glass.

It was quieter here than it had been at the Afterlife, and it had nothing to do with the music. I missed the buzz that being surrounded by the tech had given me, it had made me feel... together; like a bee in a huge, drunken, hive.

I strode back into the room and 'he' was sitting on the bed, looking hopeful.

"C'mon, V, take a load off." He encouraged.

"V?" I asked him, eyebrow raised. I hadn't told him my name.

He nodded at my tattoo, dark and coarse against my fair skin.

"Well, guessing you ain't Johnny, so..."

"No, m'not Johnny." I said, sternly, as though I was confirming it to myself.

This was boring me now, it had been a mistake to leave the Afterlife.

"How about you fuck off, and let me get some sleep?" I said to him absently, taking off one of my boots.

"...the fuck?" he coughed, getting to his feet. Aggression flashed in his cybernetic eyes.

" _Now_." I demanded, taking off the other boot.

"I paid the eddies for this fuckin' room, bitch!" He yelled, shaking his fists and walking towards me. "Fuckin' tease!"

He made a swing at my head, and I ducked, lithely.

I was getting angry now.

I locked onto his eyes with my own, reading his implants, feeling the buzz of energy that passed through them. And without truly grasping how, I increased the voltage tenfold.

His eyes buzzed violently, and then they hissed, spurting hot blood from the sockets. He yelled out pathetically only once, before his body hit the floor with a bang.

I stepped over it, pulled off my trench coat, and curled up on the sodden mattress, eager for a peaceful nights sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the reviews - so kind!!!!! The lockdown boredom has really set in so I have B I G plans for this story. Stay tuned!


	6. Good Ol' Cry

Now, this... was something else. Something fuckin' wild.

Apart from a few joints here and there, the rest of the implants looked pretty fucking human. And uploading his engram from the across the Blackwall into the new Relic chip, while godly expensive, hadn't been too hard. At least, that's how he imagined it. Vik had explained what he'd done but... frankly, it was borin' as shit. All he knew was that he was back, and not as some parasite in his chooms head - nah, he was back for real.

Vik hadn't been too happy to see him, and if he had to guess, the doc had simply been morbidly curious about resurrecting him, and that (plus the eddies), had been the only reason it had happened at all. Oh, and yea, V had vowed to bring him back or whatever. Good choom, that one. Annnnd she was Viktor's soft spot, so what she wanted, she normally got.

Still, despite the pure joy of no longer bein' eaten away in that Net-Hell, he felt kind of shitty. As if he'd woken up after a mad gig and one two many pills. And the eddies, his bodies location... that stuff hadn't popped outta his ass, but that was a discussion for another time.

He went to scratch his beard - but his chin was smooth as a strippers cooch. His head too, for that matter. Definitely not badass. He'd have liked to have waited 'till he looked a bit more himself before he saw V, but beggers couldn't be choosers.

The doc told him he'd be keepin' an eye on him, allegedly to make sure nothing went wrong with the chip blah blah blah... Sounded like he'd be spying on him, and he didn't like that.

Eventually, he got tired of staring at his own reflection, put on the clothes Vik had left out for him - just some cheap black shit, he'd be sure to ask V for his stuff when he saw her - and went to confront the old man about when they'd be visiting their little merc.

"You gonna call her doc, or should I?" asked Johnny, eyes piercing without the cover of his shades.

Viktor looked him up and down. "That's all you gotta say, no explanation?"

Johnny ignored him, and started picking up various, delicate looking instruments from around the clinic.

Viktor sighed, resigning himself to the silence. "Guess it should be me then. Might seem more... believable, I guess."

"Nothing believable about all of this, choom." Said Johnny, fishing in his pockets for a cig, coming up empty handed. Would have to ask V for some of those, too.

"We're not chooms." Said Vik, coldly, as he called her on his holo.

Johnny had no idea what the doc was gonna say, but he'd probably be more tactful than the resurrected rockerboy.

The holo rang and rang and rang. There was no answer.

"Hm..." Mused Vik, more to himself than Johnny, "That's not like-"

Before he could finish, a burley mass of bad fashion-sense and misplaced loyalties bolted into the room. The man looked at Johnny sweepingly, and then to Vik.

"Vik - can I - er - talk to you for a second?" asked River, voice nervous and... desperate.

It was strange for Johnny to see the ex-cop all the way out here. He didn't know that River and the doc had even met... Fuck, he hoped V wasn't still shacked up with this loser. Shoulda' come back sooner, forced some sense into her gonk brain.

And the way River’d looked past him was weird... It was then that Johnny realised the pig didn't recognise him. Unfortunately, he was not as ignorant. In fact, he knew River painfully well.

Fuck. Now he really wished he had a cig, and a cold, hard drink. Maybe some glitter too.

"River, eh, yea sure. What's happening?" asked Vik, clearly a bit nervous about the situation. No one but him and Judy had known about the whole resurrection thing, at least, that's what he'd told Johnny. Now, he could tell that was true - not that he cared much for secrecy. It hadn't been part of the deal.

River looked back to Johnny, who was casually leaning against Vik's chair, staring at his hideous fur collar... Whatever had possessed V to actually sleep with the man, it was beyond him.

"In private?" Asked River, eyeing up the stranger. "This is urgent."

Vik sighed, long and hard, as if he was weighing up something in his mind.

Finally, he spilled the beans.

"It's _Johnny_." announced Vik, frustrated. He was beginning to regret this already. "Goddamn it... the gonk's Silverhand." And he flung up an arm, christening the mystery guest. Johnny would've cussed him out then and there if he didn't owe him one. A big one.

River's human eye went wild. "No fucking way." He breathed, staring at V's old brain buddy.

"Yes fuckin' way." smiled Silverhand. "You got any smokes for an old choom?" he asked, tone purposefully irritating.

River looked sick.

"Anyway, he's a different problem." Said Vik, shaking his head dismissively. "What's the issue, River?"

River looked shaky, afraid even, now that Johnny looked closer.

"It's V-" He started.

Johnny perked up at that, and a chill ran up his new spine.

"She's... I think she's gone _Cyberpsycho_."

***

The whole gang had their feelers out, searching for their precious V. Judy was finally on her way back from wherever she'd been off gallivanting, and Panam was quick to jump in her ride and hear what River had to say.

Vik had, in simple terms, told Johnny to fuck off. This was about V, not him, and he didn't want to expose the whole 'secret resurrection project' without V around. They would trust her, understand why she'd wanted it done so bad... but without V, Johnny would seem like the goddamn devil himself. It was kind of cool really, that he was so vilified, even though he'd just been code in her head. Kinda sad though, too.

So, Vik'd packed him off to V's apartment and had promised to keep him in the loop. Wasn't likely. Still, he felt like shit, and what River had said... didn't sound like V at all. Maybe this had something to do with the reason he was back, something to do with her dying... 

No one had blinked an eye at him entering the shitty complex; he wasn't surprised, this place was real bottom of the barrel. Once upon a time, he'd wondered why the fuck V would want such a place. He knew her bank balance, pretty hefty stuff. But her memories, the memories they shared, showed that it hadn't always been that way. This was as good as she could get, during that miserable, lonely period of her life.

Johnny shook off those memories; as intriguing as they were, they weren't his to delve through. Not anymore, at least.

The place smelt like her, and all her shit was littered everywhere. Booze bottles galore. Even a packet of smokes - bingo!

He lit one up with his metallic hand, sat on the couch and let it all sink in. He was alive, after 50-something long years. He was back where it all started, and ended. He considered what it meant to be back, a changed man, with a new choom and _maybe_ hopeful future. Then he had a good ol' cry.


	7. Gone Rogue

It had been a week... and nothing. Johnny was bored out of his ass, and this apartment was cramping his style. Vic was giving him nothing, and he still was under his gag order. Fuck that. V wasn't gonna last forever... 

He hadn't wanted to do it, but he had to. Johnny knew V better than anyone - maybe even better than she knew herself. And fuck what that gang of shit-lickers thought; if anyone could find her, it would be him.

His muscles still felt a bit janky, and his hair was just about visible... whatever, he'd stormed into Arasaka with a stab wound through the chest.

He thanked Viktor internally for giving him a holo and his own, surprisingly sober mind, for remembering Rogues number.

"Who the fuck is this?" She asked, aggressive as ever. 

She was the one who called, it was rarely the other way round.

"Surprise." He said, looking down the holo at her familiar, wrinkled face.

Nothing really surprised Rogue, she'd seen pretty much everything by this point in her career. But this... was a shock. She lost her composure for just a second, but it was enough.

"Guessing you missed this face, _huh_?" he asked, arrogant as ever.

She shook her head, slowly. "You've made a deal with the Devil, Johnny, I can tell. They never end well, you know."

"Well... pessimistic and sharp as ever I see."

She went to say something, and thought better of it.

"Speechless as well," he chimed. "At least I haven't lost my touch."

She signed and rolled her eyes, they looked shiny. "Afterlife," she said, sternly. "Tonight. You know where I'll be."

She gave his face one final glance, and then she hung up.

He didn't really know what he'd expected from Rogue... but maybe, if he was being honest, a little warmth? It hadn't been that long since their date to the drive-in. She'd rejected him then, and he'd assumed it was 'cause, well, he was _V_! But now he was starting to think that maybe, it was all on him.

Whatever, wasn't worth dwelling on. Instead, he helped himself to one of V's many bottles of gin.

***

Through V's eyes the Afterlife had always seemed so big, so vibrant, so full of opportunity. He could almost see her and Jackie at the bar, their first night there, so excited to be on route to the 'major leagues'...

That memory had been blurry, but poignant. V remembered it often, replayed it again and again, a true moment of joy, corrupted only by hindsight.

To him... it seemed kind of _lame_. Full of wannabe's and cyber-freaks. Still, it served alcohol, and that was good enough.

He swaggered up to the bar, giving the local talent a once over. Most of the girls were top shelf, if not a little scary. Tonight could be all kinds of fun - after all, his body was finally his, and he'd never have to fuck a cop again. Maybe there was a God.

He caught the bartenders eye and winked. "A... 'Jackie Welles', if you would Clare."

Seemed only right to try one himself, since he almost knew the man.

She raised an eyebrow at him and started pouring, "...we know each other?"

 _Shit_. "Johnny, friend of V's." he explained. Wasn't a lie.

"Ohhh," she said, knowingly, "' _Johnny_ ' - from the tattoo."

"Yep, that's the one." he said, a smirk forming. Then he remembered, "You haven't seen her around, by any chance? Know she hangs out here like a bad smell."

Clare sighed and handed him the drink. "No, not in a week or more." She looked deflated.

"Why the long face?" he asked, taking a sip. It was good, so he downed it.

She looked at him then, right in the eye, super intense, as though she was trying to weigh him up. Then she spoke, words measured. "Don't know who you are to V, but she was acting... _weird_... last time she was here. Wasn't herself, wasn't even on this planet by the looks of it."

Fuck. That was his confirmation. Maybe lover-boy cop hadn't been so clueless after all.

"...Thanks." he said, pushing back the glass, worry at the forefront of his mind.

It was time to talk to Rogue.

His feet moved slowly as he strode towards the booth, and he cursed his own nerves. Fuck, he really wished his hair was back.

He almost slapped himself then and there - my God, he sounded just like V, all self deprecating and shit! That cunt was his best choom, but she didn't exactly walk into a room with gravitas. He, on the other hand, was Johnny-Fucking-Silverhand, original Rockerboy and certified babe magnet - he wouldn't forget it again.

"Rogue!" He called over the bouncer, not even giving him a glance.

She paused; transported back 50 years to her wild and violent youth, by a voice that she would have known anywhere, no matter how long it had been since she'd last heard it.

"...let him in." She finally managed, voice steadily silky.

He strode on through and plonked himself on the couch, same way V always did.

"Good to see you - with my own eyes, this time." He said, never failing to be surprised by how well she'd aged. He doubted that time would've been so kind to him.

Rogues eyes were on him hard. They swept up and down his body, as if checking for signs of subterfuge.

"Chill, Rogue, s'me. _Really_." He said, bringing out a cig and popping it into his mouth. He didn't meet her eyes fully, scared of what they might hold as they took him in.

" _How_?" was all she said, eyeing his cig. She wanted to reach out and touch him, just to prove that this wasn't a dream, or a nightmare.

He shrugged. "Will tell you - soon. But got bigger fish to fry right now."

Arrogant, bashful, flippant... and dishonest. Time had not ruined Johnny's features, she realised, nor his character.

"Hope those fish don't belong to Arasaka." She said, sternly.

He laughed at that, but it was a hollow sound.

"Nah, nothing so grand." He inhaled, and exhaled. A plume of smoke floated through the booth. "V - know where she is?"

He looked at her then, right in the eye. A million unspoken truths danced between them, a million things that would never be said. He shook his head, absently, breaking the trance - it was 50 years too late, after all.

Rogue collected herself and raised an eyebrow. He was almost certain that her lips curled, as if fighting a smirk, "You lost her?"

"Nah, by the sounds of it, she's lost herself. It's a big city, after all." His eyes followed the smoke.

Rogue paused, scanning the faces of the crowd beyond her sacred booth.

"Did you ever think that maybe she was done?" she asked, almost softly, turning back to him. "With the Afterlife, with Night City... with you?"

Yea, he had given it a thought, actually. A very brief one.

"See, Rogue, you said that about anyone else? I'd really have to consider it. But I know V, well. Too well. This ain't her style."

Rogue nodded.

"I'll see what I can do..." she said, slowly. She was a busy woman, after all, and V was a big girl. 

"Nope, that ain't gonna cut it, Rogue. Need this ASAP." 

Rogue raised an eyebrow - she didn't like to be told what to do, nor rushed into doing it. Johnny knew that; always had. Didn't stop him from doing it though, not now, not then. "You're in a hurry?"

Johnny shook his head. "Nope, but she is. Chips still killing her - need to find her before that happens."

Rogue pursed her lips, knowingly. "So, this is why you're back..." She mused. That explained the worry that rested upon his impossibly young brow. "Whatever, I'll put the word out - and get in contact with you as soon as something comes back to me." Her word a promise.

"Thanks, Rogue, owe you one." And he smiled. She almost lost it then, and closed the gap between them. 

The past, the future, the logistics of him being alive, being here, young, reborn... it was almost enough to push her back into the naive, ignorant child that she once was. _Almost_.

"No, you don't. She's my best merc - if she's ditched or dead, I want to know about it." She stated cooly, taking a swig of vodka.

Johnny nodded and there was a thoughtful, almost awkward pause between them. From Rogues perspective, Johnny looked like a child, blinded by the neon lights of the club and the possibilities of tomorrow. To Johnny, Rogue seemed... content. Finally.

He rolled his eyes then, and indicated to the club with a grandiose gesture of his hands, "'Queen of the Afterlife'", he mocked.

She ignored his comment, and brought him back into the firing line.

"Who did you cut a deal with?" She pushed, intent on getting to the bottom of this mystery.

Johnny sighed, "Drop it, Rogue. I'll tell you everything - when I can." His tone was defensive, hard even, and she knew better than to pursue it further.

"Well then, what's it like, being back - for real, this time?"

He considered the question. There were a million things he could have said, a billion different avenues of feeling that he could have pursued... but he didn't. He kept it light, kept it distant. "Think it might be stranger for you than it is for me. I've been here for the last 6 months, just wasn't the one getting dressed in the mornin'."

She smiled; it was small, but it was genuine. How strange it must have been for him, a passenger in V's body... they were so different, in more ways than one.

Rogue seemed more relaxed, so he guessed that now was his chance. "Rogue... about what happened at the drive-in..."

She cut him off, pointedly. "V's changed you Johnny, I know that you know it. You're not such a... _bastard_. Not anymore."

"...Thanks." He said, but she waved him silent.

"But..." she went to pour herself another drink, but stopped, taking in his familiar features once more, "...it was the bastard I fell for. My Johnny, the one who I hated... and loved, is gone."

She allowed herself to reach up and caress his face then; it was warm, and softer than she remembered.

Silence filled the booth, and it made Johnny cringe. Fuck, V woulda known what to say.

"Well, shit, Rogue." Was all he managed.

Out of all the things she coulda said, he wasn't expecting that. He felt rejected, disappointed and... alien. Hell, he'd assumed that getting his body back would be the final piece of the god-awful puzzle. Him and V would find a cure, live happily ever after shooting up gonks with Rogue by their side. That didn't seem to be on the cards though. What he wanted was rarely on the cards.

And, truthfully, he understood. Rogue had lived a lifetime without him, done so much that he would never know, nor understand. They were not who they had been.

Eventually, Rogue let her hand drop and poured two glasses. She handed one to him.

"To new beginnings." she smiled.

"Yea" he said, downing the clear liquid. "To that."


	8. Femme Fatale

"It's the chip, it's killin' her brain, lettin' the tech take over." Said Judy, plainly. She was on her holo to Vik.

She didn't know much about the Doc, just that he cared about V, same as her. V'd talked about him; he'd been the one to tell her about the whole Relic situation in the first place, told her she was gonna die. Guess V musta talked about her too, 'cause she'd been the first one the doc had called a month-or-so ago when she'd had come back, Johnny-free. And again, when he'd been putting the dead rocker back together. V had always been adamant she wanted Johnny back, right up until Mikoshi, so she'd said yea to lending a hand... wasn't sure that'd been the right call though. Seemed weird that the ghost was up n' walking, living in V's apartment, while she was MIA and psycho to boot.

She hadn't gone to see him. Truth be told, she had nothing to say.

So, she'd been searchin' all over town for her missing friend instead. She wasn't too happy to be back here, but who was? She owed V, and she was a choom.

"That's what I thought." Said Vik, resignation heavy in his voice. "Talk later, Judy."

And with that, he was gone.

Judy went to scroll through her messages - she had tonnes. Nearly every contact of hers also knew V, or had at least heard of her, so there'd been a lot of response. Most of it was trash, 'cept one, which stood out clear as day. Was from a kid called Sunny, Mox dancer, timid girl - surprisingly.

'Hey, Judy.

Haven't seen V in months, heard a story from a girl in the apartment below me though. Said her boyfriend (ex-now) knew about some dangerous lady prowling Tyger territory. Dressed in gold, mantis blades too. Apparently she'll kill you as soon as look at you. Haven't heard much else, but, sounds kind of like V?

Hope this helps,

Sunny'

Now, that sounded like a lead.

Judy grabbed her pistol, put it in her back pocket and called for her van. JigJig street would be her first stop.

***

JigJig was suitably, almost comfortingly perverse. The neon purple lights did a good job at hiding the trash piled around every corner, and the booze and sex did a good job at covering up the smell. It was Night City in its most honest form. 

Some scantily clad joy-toy on the corner was giving her the eye - that seemed like as good a place to start as any.

"You interested in some company, babe?" asked the girl, seductively.

"Maybe another time." Laughed Judy, only half joking. "You seen a girl about here, dressed in gold, w'mantis blades?"

The girl smiled. "Maybe, maybe not." She cooed, coyly.

Judy transferred 100 eddies to her account and then raised an eyebrow, expectantly.

The girl sighed, disappointed in the amount, yet careful not to push her luck. It clearly hadn't gone well for her in the past. "You're looking for the 'Femme Fatale'." She said, voice hushed.

"O...Kay." So, it was gonna be one of those nights. She shouldn't have expected anymore from JigJig Street. "What the fuck you talkin' about?"

The girl shrugged. "That's what they call her. If you see her, you shouldn't go home with her." The girl warned, looking Judy up and down. "Rumour is, the more implants you have the bigger the target on your back is... so, you should be fine."

"So, she's a regular around here?" Judy lit up a cig, this was all... a little much.

"Dunno, never seen her, just heard rumours."

"Uh-huh." Said Judy, breathing in the smoke. It was just what she needed. "She got anyone you know?"

The girl pursed her lips. "Sophie said she blew her knees up. Load of shit if you ask me - those 'netics were dirty from the get go."

"... weird thing to lie about though, knees blowing up, isn't it?" Asked Judy, baffled by the claim.

"Whatever." sighed the girl, "Couple of sleazy guys from the Strip Clubs have gone missin' too, they say it was her."

"Any proof? Anyone looking into it?"

The girl laughed. "NCPD don't come around here, but it's been quieter recently, so locals are definitely taking notice."

Judy sighed, this did not sound good.

The girl was growing impatient now that the eddies had dried up, "We done here?" she asked, pointedly.

"Yea, thanks." Said Judy, looking about herself. The apartments that surrounded JigJig were tall and ominous - was V in one of them?

She shook her head and stalked back to her van, puffing away.

V was a great fucking shot, sneaky as hell, and could talk her way outta anything... but she wasn't the sharpest knife in the stash. If this 'Femme Fatale' was really her, and it sounded a hell of a lot like it, all they needed was bait... some club-going sleaze crammed full of cybernetics.

Sounded like Johnny might come in handy after all.

***

She would never admit that she'd had three vodkas prior to this call, but she had. Couple of smokes too.

The holo had been ringing a while - maybe he was busy? She hoped he was. It would save her from an awkward conversation.

"Yea?" came a voice suddenly, lower and slower than she was expecting. She didn't look at the screen, not yet.

"It's Judy."

"...good to speak to you in person. And thanks, for helping Vik to bring me back." he said. No bullshit small-talk and straight to the point - she liked that. But he sounded oddly level headed and... pleasant?

Judy looked at the screen then, to make sure that it was really him.

She guessed he kind of looked like the guy she'd seen on the album covers, and he definitely had that ruggedly rockstar handsome thing going for him. But it was strange to have been so wrong in her own assumptions; she'd honestly been envisioning him as V with a beard all this time.

"...You're welcome." She said. "V never painted you as the gracious type."

Johnny snorted. "I know. You got news about the runaway?"

Was that concern she heard in his tone?

Judy sighed. "Yep, and I've got a plan, but I don't think you're gonna like it."

"Doesn't matter." Said Johnny, shaking his head. "Whatever it is, I'm in."


	9. A Thing of Beauty

I was cruising through the Badlands on my bike, aimlessly. I needed to get away from JigJig; people were asking too many questions, and I didn't have any answers.

I wasn't really myself anymore, I knew that much; I was like a video game character, being pulled this way and that by some unseen force. But I was still a merc at heart - and rule #10 of merc-work: when people start looking for you, it's time to bounce. 

Anyways, out here, I liked the way the warm air felt against my skin, how it untangled my hair. The city was so humid, the air so stagnant; but I never realised it until I left. Never realised how hard I found it to breath. Was the same every time, but I always ended up back there, drawn to the neon lights, the corruption, and the violence. But, out here, where sand met sky... it was almost peaceful. And quiet, maybe too quiet. There wasn't any tech for miles and my bike was my only connective-grounder to the Net. The ol' Arch that had once been my 'chooms' was my last companion. 

I turned up the radio full blast - and put the oldie rock tunes on. Those were my favourite. I knew them all by now; I used to belt them out while Johnny shouted obscenities at me from the seat beside.

A new song came on then, and I knew it right away. I couldn't stop myself from singing, and there was no one around to tell me how bad I was - not anymore.

" _A thing of beauty, I know, will never fade away..._ "

My head started to buzz suddenly, almost nostalgically; the way it used to when Johnny was up there pulling strings. It started light and then grew in intensity, becoming painful.

"What the fuck?" I asked the silence, pulling over to the side of the road, massaging my temples vigorously. I thought I was over this shit.

I felt it again, stronger this time. And again.

Was there something wrong with the Net?

With every glitch, little memories and feelings flooded back to me. It was weird... like a braindance of myself, being fed straight to my synapses. Wave upon wave off raw emotion and experience.

My eyes went blind as my mind filled with familiar, yet distant imagery. So I stumbled a couple of metres to the nearest shit-stained gas station curb, head in my hands, letting the pain smash against my skull.

My life flashed before me in bright reds and vivid blues. Some memories were good: happy childhood days, filled with blissful ignorance, others where comforting; me and Jackie on the dance floor, my fling with River, and others, well, they were not so good.

I must have been groaning, 'cause eventually someone came up to me; she was a young girl, with wicked tattoos. Kinda reminded me of Judy. Out of reflex I went to scan her, to check if she was a threat, but... I couldn't.

It was then that I realised I couldn't feel the Net anymore. What had replaced it was adrenaline, pain and fear... was _me_.

"Are you ok?" she asked, genuinely concerned. She musta thought I was dying; maybe I was.

"Can I - I borrow your holo?" I asked, barely able to choke the words out between chattering teeth.

"Yea, of course." She startled, quickly handing it to me. I grasped onto it with shaky fingers.

"I - I'll give you a moment." she said, walking a few paces away and lighting up a cig, eyes on the sky. I was grateful for the privacy.

There was only one person who I knew could help me now. The faces of the people I'd killed over the last week - how many had it been? - flashed before me as I typed in the number. I shoved any feelings of guilt to the bottom of my heart - there was no time for them right now.

"V - long time no see. Didn't recognise the number. Everything good?"

"Regina." I struggled, between laboured breaths. The pain was relentless. "I need your help."

She turned to peer down the holo, taking in every detail of my face. "You're not...?" She queried, worry evident in her tone.

"Yep." I gripped my head harder. "Psycho - moment of clarity now though. Need help. _Please._ " I begged, too far gone for any bravado, or misplaced sense of pride.

"...Where are you?"

I looked about myself. "Badlands... near Rancho maybe."

Regina sighed. "Fuck, V, I'm at the other side of town. Get yourself to your apartment - now. And barricade the door." She commanded.

I nodded vigorously .

"I'll start towards there now, shouldn't arrive to long after yourself. Then we'll sort this." She said, voice level yet... uncertain.

A pause.

"You can help me, right Regina?" I whispered.

"... see you soon V - stay safe." And she was gone.

I pulled my body up and abandoned the hollo. Getting to my apartment without loosing my mind again - piece of cake, right?

I grasped the handlebars for dear life and sped away, hoping that it would be me to greet Regina, and not the psycho version of myself. 

***

Yea, Judy's plan sounded all kinds of messed up, but that wasn't about to stop him. She'd given him the lowdown on this 'Femme Fatale' character that was supposedly terrorising half of JigJig. And, honestly, if it was V - he was kind of impressed. V had always been a bit explosive, and a bit _too_ into cybernetics if you asked him. Hell, she was a fantastic Netrunner - prided herself on it even - and he knew, better than most, that those types rarely ended up with a happy ending. 

But, what niggled him most, was that fact that he'd caused this. He thought that when he left, giving her a chance to live her own life, he'd undo the damage that he, that Arasaka, had inflicted upon her. Bullshit to that, instead he'd gifted her 6 months to live and an unstable mind. He'd changed, Rogue had proven that to him, but maybe not as much as he'd liked to think - not enough. He was still leaving a trail of destruction in his wake, pretty rockstar shit honestly, if it wasn't so morbid. 

What was it about V... the kid just couldn't catch a break. Or, maybe, she didn't want to. She was a glory seeker, admitted as much herself. Being the best merc in NC wasn't enough for her, she craved legend status. The line between famous and infamous was thin, he knew, for he'd crossed it. V wouldn't die some quiet death, no way, she'd go up in a blaze of glory. Hadn't happened yet, but it would, one day. What side would she be on, he wondered, the perceived 'good' or 'bad', when it happened? Whichever it was, he knew, he swore, that it wouldn't be him that caused it. 

He still didn't feel comfortable in her apartment, it felt like a weird invasion of privacy despite the fact that those boundaries (and more) had long since been crossed between them. Felt weirder still that he could touch her stuff now. There was loads of shit littered about the place, but hardly any of it was very personal. It was were she lived, sure, but it wasn't her home. Since he'd known her she'd spent more time sleeping in her car and on her chooms sofas than she ever did in that bed. 

He lay on it now, staring at the shitting plastic ceiling above. 

Whatever was wrong with V, they'd fix it. He had faith in that. But what about after? He'd been avoiding that question ever since he woke up. He had his body back - kind of - and somewhat of a fresh start. He could do anything, go anywhere, be someone new... someone better. He thought that he'd resume where he'd left of, get back in with Rogue and Kerry... pick up the pieces and carve a little niche. Or maybe he'd fuck off, get out of this shit-hole once and for all, a place that had eaten him away, ruined him. 

But honestly - and maybe it was just out of a habit of co-dependence with her - he just wanted to stay with V. Wanted to run jobs with her, hang out with her, kick back in his Porsche and drive around the Badlands with her... he wanted to help her; shoot the fools who dared raised a fist against her and muzzle the gonks who said she was no good. 

He laughed out loud; he always thought he was the star of the show, looks like he'd been wrong about that. He was backing singer, at best. 

He got up, showered quickly and pulled on some clothes. V still had his shit, which was a blessing. He felt more himself when he had his leather pants on, despite how hideous she claimed they were. He knew she was lying, after all.

The plan sounded simple; he just had to get down to JigJig and make a fool of himself. Wouldn't be hard. Judy thought that that'd put a big, V-shaped target on his back. He hoped so, life was boring without her, and whether she was friend or foe was of little consequence to him.


	10. Crazy

It wasn't the first time I'd had to claw my way up to my apartment, and I doubted it would be my last. Normally, it was a bullet wound or some other grievous injury that had me hunched over like a great-grandmother. Today, however, it was something a lot more concerning. I hoped that Regina was nearby, I could feel myself slipping...

I didn't have time to look about me before I swung open the door. It gave way with an efficient 'swoosh' and a looming figure stood in the doorway. 

I looked through cloudy, glitching eyes into a face I knew well. And he looked back, a bewildered expression across his rugged features. 

"The fuck..?!" I groaned. My mind was truly unravelling, perhaps even more so than I'd realised. 

I pushed past him and grabbed onto the back of my sofa, hacking up whatever I'd last eaten and a little blood. "How the fuck am I seeing you again?" I rasped, through my burning throat. 

The ghost remained silent and I turned on my heel to look at him, anger brewing steadily. Who was I angry at? Myself? Johnny? The world? 

"How the fuck are you here?!" I yelled. "The chip... the engram... it's _gone_!" This had to be down to whatever was happenin' in my head. 

"V - I..." started Johnny, wearing an expression I'd never seen on him before. God. What version of Johnny was my mind even fabricating? Whichever it was, I wasn't doing a very good job. He didn't even look right. The armour was gone, the ash that littered his skin from the Arasaka fight was missing, and he wasn't even _smoking_. 

The glitching around my eyes was gettin' worse and Regina was nowhere in sight. My apartment had been the worse possible place to come to... I thought of my neighbours, some of them had kids... they'd all be fucked if I didn't do something about this - now. 

The ghost remained frozen by the door, so I ignored him and sat on the edge of my bed.

Slowly, and with shaking hands, I brought out my - _his_ \- pistol. I held it to my chin and pointed up. I could deal with dying crazy, Johnny's ghost haunting me, but I refused to go out cyberpsycho, killin' people who had done nothing wrong. To me, at least. 

The ghost rushed beside me then.

"What the fuck, V?" he growled, pulling the pistol from me and chucking it across the room. "That's for killing corpos - not yourself."

My eyes followed the trajectory of the gun - had Johnny always been able to throw shit about?

I looked into his stupid, imaginary eyes.

God, I wished he was still here to bark advice, direction, at me.

"I miss you, Johnny." I said, almost laughing. "Never thought I would - but I do."

The ghost shook his head; he looked concerned. "Look, V, I know what's happening to you - but you have to _listen_."

The door sped open suddenly, and both of our heads snapped up. In the doorway stood three heavily armed Netrunners, and Regina.

The glitching took over then, and my eyes went black. 

***

It was her alright, all bent over like she'd just got her shit kicked in. Knowing her, she probably had. He'd just been about to leave to meet Judy around JigJig, thank fuck he'd stopped to have a smoke first. 

It was... weird, for him to look at V. Normally he'd looked through her, _from_ her even. She was smaller than he'd thought, and more scrawny. And right now, she looked 50 shades of awful. Her face was all scrunched up in pain, and she was more than a little green around the gills. 

It took her a moment to look at him, and really comprehend what she was seeing. But he could see the cogs turning and then...

'The fuck?!" she gawked, sounding dumb as ever. 

She pushed past him, and where she touched him almost burned. Well, that had never happened before. 

She almost ran towards the sofa and started spewing up her guts. Fuck, she really was in bad shape. He needed to call someone - Judy? Vic, maybe?

"How the fuck am I seeing you again?!" she growled, wiping blood away from her chin. 

Fuck - she thought he was an engram. Well, what did he expect? This was a fucking unbelievable turn of events, and he hadn't prepared for this. Hadn't prepared for how taken aback he would be to meet her, face to face, for the first time. 

"V... I -" he started, with no idea of where he meant to finish. This was not how he imagined their reunion; her angry and vomiting, him, lost for words. But hell, it sure suited them to a t. 

Her eyes started to go weird then, all focused then unfocused. Her Kiroshi's appeared to be glitching out. Fuck, was this some cyberpsycho shit? He'd been with her every time she'd dealt with the bastards; the only options seemed to be killing them, or knocking them sideways... obviously he'd have to go with the latter, if he could even take her, that was. 

She sprung into action suddenly, acutely aware of what was happening to her. She scrambled towards the bed and before he could flinch pulled out his gun, and aimed it at her head. 

His heart stopped, and his blood ran cold.

He'd never moved so fast in his life, grabbing at the familiar piece and throwing it into kingdom come. "The fuck V?!" he yelled, enraged. "That's for killing corpos - not yourself."

He'd been in V's head a long time, but it'd never been as dark as he saw it was now. This wasn't like her, not at all. Where was the V who wanted to go up in flames, consumed in a blaze of glory?

She looked up at him, clearly surprised by his physical interference, but too far gone to question it. 

"I miss you, Johnny." she said, with a crazy, beautiful smirk. "Never thought I would - but I do."

He sighed and sat beside her, slowly, willing her to understand. "Look, V, I know what's happening to you - but you have to _listen_..."

The door crashed open then, cutting off his explanation. 

It was a group of fancy-looking fucks, obviously ready to fight. He recognised one them - a fixer of V's; Regina. 

V's eye's went dark then; the beautiful blue overtaken by whatever cybernetics took residence there. Her mantis blades extended violently, and she rushed at the group, while Johnny stared on.


	11. Good Morning

I'd always had an aptitude for tech; when I'd gone on gigs with Jackie, back in the good old days, I'd done the netrunning and he'd been the one to shower the enemy in bullets and fire. After... after the Konpeki Plaza gig, I'd taken up that mantle and honestly, it had been good for me, good for my career. Hacking into turrets and frying synapses whilst holding a rifle was a pretty deadly combination, and that particular mix of unsavoury talents had propelled me to where I was now: top of the NC merc food-chain. Best in the biz. Lucky me.

But, I'd never dreamed of making it _far_ into the net, still, I'd ended up there... numerous times. In fact, that's where I was now. A ghostly figure of code in a loose sculpture of what I assumed was Regina's office. I could see my body, my real, physical meat-sack, slumped over a netrunning chair, plugs and cables spilling out of me like blood.

Yep, looked like I'd gone too far again. 

I wasn't surprised; after seeing Johnny I knew I was on a one-way train to crazy town. And honestly, after having died... how many times was it now? Two? God....Anyway, death didn't really scare me anymore. I wondered if that was a bit of Johnny, 'cause old V would've done anything to dodge a coffin. Even leave her best choom to cross the Blackwall, alone.

Regina's netrunners must have been moving through my engram, trying to stabilise it. But... other cyberpyscho's didn't have engrams. I'd never really asked but, how did she help them? And more importantly, did she ever succeed? Didn't seem likely, but hopefully the fact that I'd well and truly been Soulkiller-ed would give me an advantage here. I was easy to read; my mind was, quite literally, code.

Time, as always, had no meaning this side of reality. I wondered where the netrunners where... was this a construct created by Regina? If so, she would control what I saw - and what I didn't. That made me nervous. I'd blacked out in my apartment and I prayed to any, _every_ , God that I hadn't killed anyone, not this time. But I didn't know, couldn't see...

Just as that thought crossed my mind, a bridge of code opened up beside me. Regina must have sent it through, and I didn't question it - as was the best course of action in the Net, where everything was fluid and unexpected. I crossed it swiftly and the construct faded into something new, something familiar. My apartment. 

The code was less... pronounced here, almost as if the world was slowly taking on the form of _my_ reality... but that wasn't the case. What had Alt said to me, all those months ago? That the longer you spent in the Net, the more you grew accustomed to it... the more your perception merged with its own abstract laws and boundaries. It wasn't fitting to me, I was fitting to it. If I'd had my body, I probably would have shivered.

I noticed that there was someone on my sofa. Bright blue code the shape of a man, who I did not recognise.

"You runnin' for Regina?" I asked, hopefully.

The man looked up slowly and smiled at me. There was something wrong with his eyes... they weren't moving, turning code like the rest of him, they were solid, stagnant and uncomfortably piercing.

"It's a pleasure, V." He said, turning his head but not getting up. "I've heard a lot about you - supposedly, you're the best merc around."

Ok... so not one of Reginas runners, then who?

"...And you are?" I asked, fear creeping up the back of my neck. A construct was a hard thing to crack, and Regina was no amateur.

"A friend." he said simply, tone light and... almost inviting. He spoke well, with all the blood soaked grace of a top corpo.

"And you're here because...?" I raised an eyebrow. "Actually, screw that, how did you get in here?"

He spoke as though it was obvious, boring even. "I made a backdoor, so that we could talk - in peace."

"You a runner?" I queried, suddenly realising how vulnerable I was. I eyed the bridge I'd come here on - it was gone. Fuck.

"...Something like that, yes. But that is inconsequential - I'm here because I have a job for you."

I almost laughed, this gonk had crossed the Net, broken into Reginas construct and kidnapped my engram, to offer me some biz?! He coulda just called.

"...You're...serious..?" I said, utterly baffled. At least he wasn't here to flatline me.

"Always." he confirmed. "I need you to break in somewhere and steal something for me. It's a top notch facility, filled with the best security money can buy..." He explained.

It was bare bones, and if I was even considering this obscure offer, I'd have asked him more - but I wasn't. I was done with gonks like him and their half-truths. I'd rather spend my last few months strapped to Reginas chair.

"...I dunno, choom." I said, more politely than he deserved, but just as much as my fear deemed necessary. "I'm not in the best state right now, and taking on a job like that, _solo_..." Maybe I could talk my way out of this? Wouldn't be the first time. But something about this guy told me he wasn't one to buy my shit, no matter how nicely wrapped it was.

He shook his head firmly. "No, not by yourself, that's why I brought your friend back. He was how I came to know of your existence... your skill."

"...Friend?" I asked, whoever it was, they were _dead-meat_. I'd told River to stop giving my name out to loons! 

...Wait a minute, did he just say he brought them...'back'?

"Yes, Silverhand." He said the name like it was nothing, but it hit me like a bus.

"What do ya mean, brought him back?!" My mind was flying; who was this guy? What did he mean? Was Johnny... nah, I couldn't let my mind wonder that far.

"You haven't seen him yet?" He raised an eyebrow. "Curious. He's been vacant from Alts... conglomerate for a while now. I assumed he would contact you."

This guy knew about Alt... fuck, maybe he wasn't spewing shit.

"Yea... well, I've been out of action." I said, working wildly to maintain my cool. So, the Johnny in my apartment... the one who'd changed his clothes for the first time in 50 years... that was, _really him_? Either this day was on an upward swing, or I was crazier than I gave myself credit for.

"Ah yes... the psychosis." He said, referencing my down time. "You're becoming less human... more machine."

I paused. "You - you know about that?"

"I can see it, eating through your code like woodworm."

I nodded, yep, sounded about right. V's brain always had company.

"But... Johnny, _how_?" I almost hissed, bringing his attention back to my biggest concern. "His body's rotting under the oil fields..."  
I remembered that day like it was yesterday. It was when me and Johnny truly became chooms; came to see each other as equals, fighting the same, bloody fight.

The man shook his head. "Lies," He sneered "Told by Arasaka. The body was preserved, all it needed was a bit of tech to get it up and running again."

I mean... this was all sounding kind of legit. I was, for the first time in a long time, speechless...

Still, something wasn't sitting right with me. I'd asked Johnny for more time, for another solution... but he'd refused and faced death willingly, sickened by the thought of an alliance with corpos, even if it meant that he might survive. Johnny would die for his ideals, and that would never change.

"Johnny wouldn't agree to that, no way. Would rather die." I said, eager to call the mans bluff.

But he remained unfazed. "Yes, but I offered him something more."

"What?" I spat.

"... _Your_ life." He looked at me closely, gouging my reaction. "A full life. Not the borrowed time you stand on now."

My head swam, and if I was physical right now, I'm certain I'd have needed to sit down.

"...my...life?" I breathed, looking into those strange, crystalised iris'. They appeared to hold only truth.

He nodded.

"So..." I began, practically thinking out loud. "...you brought Johnny back, so that'd we'd run a gig for you. And in exchange... you'll cure me."

He nodded again. He was like a fucking bobblehead, and it was starting to get on my nerves. "In a sense, yes."

There it was, the catch.

" _'In a sense'_?" I repeated with venom. "That won't cut it." My voice got cold. "You seem to know Alt... well, she screwed me over once before by giving me half-truths and merky details. I won't fall into that trap again."

He smiled, cooly. "I understand... but I am not Alt, and you _will_ take this job. And when you agree - when you both, agree - I will explain everything. Nothing I have said is a lie."

I let that sink in. There was conviction there, definitely, but was it worth the risk? And I didn't mean survival... 

I could survive a couple of gonks and their guns, but I didn't know if I could survive the disappointment and heartache if a hope this vast, this beautiful, turned out to be just another Night City lie. Dashed dreams were worse than a bullet wound, for sure. 

Which raised even more questions: why had he come to a cynic, a sceptic even, with an offer that they would never accept as legit?

"...Why me? Why us?"

He laughed then, almost. It was a mimic of a laugh, like a TV laugh track; there, but not actual. "Because, this job... is 'impossible'."

I sighed. "It wouldn't be the first impossible job I've undertaken."

"I know." He stood up then, and looked out the window, as if it were really there, as if there were really a view from it. "You and Silverhand have achieved the impossible before... and you both have a lot to gain from this, you know."

Now it was my turn to laugh. "That's not it... we just have nothing to loose."

There was a pause. "Yes, that too." He agreed.

"Even if I wanted to... even if what you're sayin' is true. I'm fucked." I let out a long sigh. "The psychosis makes me a liability. A big one. It's too risky."

He shook his head, eye's still on that imaginary horizon. "It doesn't have to be. I can halt the flow of data and weaken the Net connection... that will halt the madness - for now. And when you are cured, it will be eradicated. For good."

I blinked. This was... a good offer, goddamn it.

"So, you'll cure my body, and the psychosis?" I asked, almost looking for a reason to say no, to see sense. Offers like this, that were too good to be true, always were.

"You will have a fresh start, completely." He cemented. And then he turned to me. "Now, go back and chew on it. Talk it over with Silverhand. Being here is doing you no good - those runners are simply wasting time."

"Yea... _right_...ok." I said slowly, brain well and truly fucked. 

I felt weird, like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, like my eyes weren't so dark... was that hope, creeping back into me? Oh God, did I ever learn?

"Farewell, Valerie. I'll be in touch." He said, wistfully.

And then room grew bright, ungodly so, until all of it was transformed into a shapeless white sheet of light, and he along with it.

I woke up then, in my own body, in my own world.

Johnny was looking down at me, cig hanging out the corner of his mouth, curiosity painted on his brow.

"Mornin'" He said.

"...Mornin'..." I replied.


	12. Back Again

The last time I'd seen him, he'd been helping me clamber into the Mikoshi well, and, with a look of sad conviction, told me to 'keep fighting'. The last time I'd seen him he'd been scared; scared to die, to join Alt, to leave all he knew behind him... I'd wanted him to live, wanted it more than anythin'. _Almost_.

I wanted my 6 months... wanted them for what reason? Who the fuck knew. Wasn't like I'd been anything before Johnny, wasn't like I was much after, either.

He'd forced me to make a choice then; forced me to fight to live. I'd never fought for much before him, just kinda went with the flow of the eddies. Where a fixer pointed me, that's where I'd be, and what the client wanted, that's what I'd be doing. The grand, legend life was something I craved but... honestly, it was a path I'd been too scared to do anything but stare down. I hadn't any reason for being, that was my problem. But, luckily, he'd had enough purpose to share, a dangerous amount in fact. His ideals had killed him, more than once. Almost killed me, too. 

That must have been why it all clicked, him and I; we were at opposite ends of the spectrum, and we both needed a bit of what the other was packing.

It was so fucking weird to see him now, in real life. He looked younger than he did as an engram, or maybe he just looked less angry.

Regina and her boys had helped me recover after the construct dive. Apparently, my engram had simply gone missing in cyberspace. I told her I didn't remember anything, and she knew that I was lying, of course. But she was wise enough to prod no further. My vitals were looking preem, my cybernetic and Net synchro rates were back to normal. ' _A fucking miracle!_ ' Regina had called it. Little did she know it was turning out to be quite the opposite.

I needed to talk it through with Johnny, all of it, as soon as we were outta here - but for now I was just trying to comprehend everything... and the bastard was avoiding my eye.

"There's nothing more I can do for you, V." Said Regina. She looked worried, but she couldn't just keep me here with everything checking out so soundly. "...I don't know what to tell you. Keep me on speed dial. And you..." She turned to Johnny. "If she goes nuts again, get your ass outta there, pronto."

"Don't have to tell me twice." He said, voice the same dry drawl it always was.

Regina nodded, content with his response.

He threw his half-smoked cig out the window and turned to me. "C'mon V, you're gonna catch flies if you don't close your mouth. Let's hit the road."

"Eh...yea." I said, trying to collect myself as Johnny swooned out of the room, uttering not a single goodbye.

Regina grabbed my arm lightly, holding me back. "Who the fuck is that?" she asked, voice low.

I shook my head, as if I was also unsure of the answer. "An old, _rude_ , friend." I smiled at her reassuringly. "Thanks Regina - for everything."

"Be safe, V!" She called after me, as I joined Johnny in the elevator.

As the door swooshed closed we turned to look at one another. I was the first one to crack.

"What the actual _fuck_." I breathed, eyes wide and a stupid grin plastered on my face. I reached out to poke him.

"Ow!" He moaned. "Fuck V, still healing!"

I ignored him. "This is..." I couldn't find the word. Maybe I didn't know it. Maybe it didn't even exist.

He understood the gist though, and nodded. "You're tellin' me."

I considered something for a minute and he caught onto the silence. Even though we were separate now, he still knew me thoroughly.

"It's me, for real." He said, answering a question that I hadn't spoken. "And that creepy blue eyed bastard was the one who brought me back. Or who told me how to come back, at least. A real generous cunt... _too generous_."

So, Johnny knew everything that had happened in the construct, this 'blue eyed bastard' musta been keeping him up to speed.

"And we're gonna do this gig?"

He shrugged. "Maybe." He said, lighting another cig. "It's up to you, V. Just wanted you to be able to make the call. And I was keen to get outta that hellscape."

I flinched at the memory of Mikoshi, of Johnny, fading into black... I had so many questions, too many. There was no end to them, no beginning either.

"How about..." he started, looking up at me from under his shades. "we put the questions to the side, don't talk about the gig, and go to the Afterlife and get fucking black-out drunk?"

The elevator stopped then, having reached street level. I laughed at the obscurity of that question, at the normality of what he was asking, despite the circumstances.   
"Sounds preem." I said, and for the first time ever, we walked to the Afterlife together, side by side.

***

10 minutes in, I knew I was drunk. 30 minutes in, I was pretty sure that I was wasted. Johnny seemed to be kinda janky too; I guessed whatever liver he had now - organic or not - probably couldn't compete with Johnny of the past, who drunk a bottle of tequila as an appetizer. Still, he was really pushing through, going for gold in the drunk olympics.

At one point in the evening, Claire came over, "You found her!" She said to Johnny. Clearly the two had already met.

"Unfortunately." Said Johnny, knocking another drink back. I hoped he was joking.

"Aw, don't say that!" She laughed. "Good to see you, V. Looking well." She said with a small smile, before returning to her side of the bar.

Normally, Claire would stay and have a drink or two with me, not today though. Johnny noticed my glum expression.

"You creeped her out last time you were here!" he shouted over the music. "Musta been on your psycho shit!"

Oh god.

"You saw me... all crazy and shit. Was it bad?" I asked him, certain that his response would be brutally honest, if nothing else.

He considered the question for a moment. "I mean, you were kinda just how you are on a gig... foaming at the mouth, reckless as hell. The usual." I could tell by his tone that he was working hard to irritate me. "You were being a real sap too, told me you missed me."

I could have hit him then and there, and now, thank fuck, I really could. "I though you were a fuckin' ghost in my mind again, gonk. Wasn't with it, _at all_." I hissed.

"Surprise!" he said, throwing up some mock jazz-hands. "Not a ghost."

I rolled my eyes at him.

Suddenly, a question popped into my head. I swallowed it down, but it burnt my tongue, fighting to get out. I knew I shouldn't ask it, that it would ruin the carefree facade that we had goin' on here... but the alcohol was forcing it out of me.

"Why didn't you fight me?"

He raised an eyebrow, lighting a fresh cig. "What are you talking about?"

"In Mikoshi. You didn't put up a fight - _why_?"

He coughed on the smoke. "Are you fucking serious, V? I told you. Your body wasn't mine to take, and rather die than owe a corp shit."

"Blue-Eyes... you so sure he's not a corpo?" I asked, still not seeing how all these pieces fit together.

He was growing agitated. "The fuck, V? Thought we were gonna be cool tonight. Relax."

"I don't... get you." I said, having another drink, despite myself.

"You don't have to." He said, plainly.

That annoyed me. After all we'd been through, after he'd apparently allowed himself to be resurrected in the slim chance that I could be saved...and he was still playing it so cool? "You lived in my head for six fuckin' months, and now you're shutting me out?" I hissed.

"Yea." he growled. "'cause you're riding my ass for fuck-all-squared."

"Fuck you, Johnny." I sneered.

"Right back at ya, _bitch_." He said, with equal venom.

"Fucking hell, this is a toxic little reunion indeed." Came the collected tone of Rogue from behind.

We turned to her simultaneously, and even I had to admit, it was a little creepy. Johnny didn't pay her any special greeting and she didn't look at all surprised to see him, so I guessed this is where he'd been while I was... occupied.

She looked me up and down. "So, you're still kicking." 

Johnny choked back a laugh. "Yea, barely."

"I swear to fuckin' god Johnny, if you don't shut the-"

Rogue interrupted me then, clearly bored of listening to us bicker like children. "Panam asked me to let her know if you came around here. Called her the second you two came through the door. So... now might be a good time to sober up and shut up. Especially you, Johnny." She gave him a pointed glare.

" _Fuck_." I said, getting to my feet, and giving myself a once over. I didn't look too much like gutter trash, certainly felt like it though. How the fuck had I forgotten to contact Panam, Vic, Judy even? They must've been shitting it. I'd gone totally tunnel visioned, Johnny being my only focus.

"Join us for one, Rogue." said Johnny, going to motion to the tender.

"I'm quite alright. Looks like you've got your hands full." And she looked to me, fretting over a small blood stain on my pants.

"Fuck V, no one's gonna care that you look crazy - 'cause your not! Priorities, choom, priorities." he sighed.

And with that Rogue walked away, melting into the crowd and the dim, neon glow of the club.

***

"You even look like a terrorist. You know that, right?"

My God, I hadn't expected the most civilised route of conversation with Panam, but this was beyond even my expectations.

"A _choom_ , too, Panam." I said, really emphasising the word choom, in an attempt to diffuse the situation.

"A 'choom' who tried to kill you, and nearly did!"

Johnny rolled his eyes. "We drinking or what?" he said, unaffected by Panam's remarks. 

"Yes." I replied, eager to move the conversation along. "Panam'll have beer - cold."

"I know," said Johnny, making the order. "I was there too, remember."

Panam looked sick, "This is... beyond creepy." She said, eyeing Johnny up with a heap of mistrust. To be honest, I couldn't blame her. 

"Tell me about it." We said together. 

I looked at him and he looked at me. I grimaced, he laughed. 

Panam raised a questioning brow. 

I looked at her, willing her to understand. "It was... in Mikoshi. Alt said when she made my engram she couldn't get all the Johnny out." I looked to him. "Dunno what his excuse is though."

Johnny looked annoyed. "Gee, I dunno V, maybe the fact that I was in your head for _6 months_?"

I shrugged. "Fair point."

Panam shook her head, as if she wanted to unhear all of that.

"...So, after you do this gig, you'll be cured, be free?" She asked me. 

"Guess so." I laughed, almost bitterly. "Still haven't really discussed it with Johnny here though, but... between that and dyin'..."

"I could go with you, V - you know the Aldecaldos have your back, whatever it is you need." She said, sincerely. 

Johnny shook his head. "Blue-Eyes don't want no dusty Nomads in on it. Has to be me and V." He said, as though he was bored with the conversation already.

"...Right." I said. Grateful for Panam, for the clan, regardless. 

"Happy your senses are back V, really had me freaked with that psycho shit. Still... don't trust this, really don't like the sound of it - at all. But if there's a chance, you have to take it." She said, and she chugged her beer. 

Johnny stood up then, "I'm going home." He announced. 

"...for real?" I said, shocked that he was keen to turn in so early. This wasn't the Johnny I'd seen in his memories. 

"Yep. Rock, paper, scissors for the bed?" he asked, his shades covering his eyes, so I couldn't really tell if he was joking or not. 

"...You're ok, I'll take the sofa."

"... _joking_ , V. Stole your body, not gonna steal your bed too."

"Wow," I mocked. "A true gentlemen." And got up to join him. He was right, after that drinking sesh, staying up all night probably wouldn't set us up well for tomorrow. And tomorrow we would talk about everything, would plan.

Panam rolled her eyes. "Weird." Was all she said, eyeing us up. "See you tomorrow, V... Johnny." and she gave him a forced nod. 

"Later, Pan." I said, and we half-walked, half-stumbled out the door.


	13. Alt

Something that I'd thought about often, ever since I'd seen Johnny's memories, was his relationship with Alt.

To me, it had felt like an all consuming, tragic affair. A love that had been pure in its foundation, withstanding and strong against his own venomous ego and her insatiable pursuit of knowledge. It was, by his own account, the only truly good thing that had ever happened to him. The only thing that could ever, and would ever, be able to rise up and meet him with equal persistence and vigour. And that was, had been, Alt herself; a flame just as hot and unruly as he was.

But like all good things in Night City, whether it be down to poor choices, bad luck, or the very balance of the streets themselves, their relationship was not meant to last. Her death was something that he had never gotten over, and was unlikely to, no matter how many lives he lived. The guilt stirred around inside him always; every warm beer and hazel eye reminded him of her, and of what he'd done. She lived on through him, a self-inflicted haunting, her ghost never allowed to fade away.

If they could meet again that night, with Arasaka out of the picture, would they have made it? He doubted it, and honestly, so did I. They were both so explosive, so powerful and so wrought in their own convictions. A love like theirs was, ultimately, impossible to sustain.

But, if he'd been then who he had become, who he was now, would he have been able to love her properly? Yes, I thought so. He liked Rogue, he tolerated me... but that connection that he had felt for Alt, the hot... the cold. The intense waves of bliss, euphoria and peace that he'd felt when he was with her - even if he always ruined it with his own, fiery demons, that was something that a person obtained only once, if ever at all. He knew that now, the rarity of it, his faded ego gifting him clarity.

Yet despite her death, Alt Cunningham, Johnny Silverhand's true love, would live on forever, as a soulless husk of data quite removed from who she had once been, who he had once risked it all for.

Still, this hadn't stopped him; a part of him had wanted, or maybe been resigned to being with her again. I supposed, that it seemed only fitting that he would want to be by her side, in the cold of the net. He had left her there, after all, where her humanity had been stolen from her.

I wondered if it had been painful for her, to watch as the world went on turning. To know that somewhere, her body rotted and her friends gathered to pay their respects, and all she could do was... exist, silently and unmoving. Did it hurt all the more that it had been Johnny's fault?

"Why did you... leave her?" I asked, and he knew who I meant.

We'd made it back to my apartment, unscathed, despite the copious amounts of alcohol that we'd flooded our systems with. I was lying on my bed, clothes still on, and he was on the sofa, in much the same way. We'd said goodnight silently... but, it was just all catching up with me; the gravitas of him being back, everything that had happened... my mind would not let me rest. I assumed he was the same.

Johnny wasn't one to spill his guts, it had taken months for him to divulge even the smallest pieces of personal information to me.

So, I wasn't surprised when he ignored me.

Eventually he sighed, clearly giving up on rest, probably - definitely - disturbed by my question. He sat up, grabbed for the old guitar I had near the TV, and started quietly strumming. I recognised the song - Never Fade Away.

He'd almost got to the chorus, when he responded. "I was... too human still. I could feel the net, could feel myself joining with it, _loosing somethin'_..."

His humanity, his ideals; he wouldn't give them up, not without a fight, not even with death. Would that be my life now, I wondered morbidly. Would I follow Johnny on his next crusade, with death in the wing mirror? If the gig we had to do - well, not had to, but _probably would_ \- didn't kill me, if I got my life back... would I die on his watch? Doing his bidding? Or would he leave me - he had his freedom, his independence, he could go anywhere. He wasn't tied to me anymore, though I couldn't say the same for myself. And why did I care so much? The thought of him using me, leavin' me... God, it sent a stab through my chest.

What was it he said in Mikoshi? - that there wasn't happy endings for people like us...

"But, do you think she wanted you to stay? Did you feel like... I dunno, you _owed_ her, or some shit?" I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of my mouth. I wasn't lying, but I was definitely projecting.

"Fuck, V, didn't know I was speaking to the Alt fan-club..." was all he could manage, but I respected him responding at all.

Suddenly, he stopped strumming.

"Listen, V." he looked into my eyes and they were dark, as if he'd seen more than any man should ever see - and I guessed, that in some ways he had. "There were... others in the Net."

I chewed my nails, I could guess who he meant. "The AI's?"

He nodded, solemnly. "One said he knew you - knew everything about you. Even knew you were dying."

"...the Blue Eyed gonk." I breathed.

"Yea," Johnny said, shoulders tense. "Alt wouldn't tell me shit, but he got to me..."

"And that was only possible... because she let him." I said, piecing together the jagged edges of the worlds worst puzzle.

He nodded. "Anyway... that's a depressing discussion for tomorrow, feel a hangover brewing already. Fuck this body."

He sighed as he lay back down on the sofa.

My mind ran through all the possibilities of Alt and the mysterious man and how they could be connected, but in terms of answers... I came up blank, every single time. Nothing made sense, nothing fit, and... I'd taken a lot of beats to the brain in my short life.

"How you been, anyway?" Johnny asked, suddenly, breaking me out of my spiralling thoughts.

His tone, which was almost _kind_ , took me off guard. "...you feeling ok, Silverhand? Don't think you've ever asked me that before."

He brushed over my sarcasm. "Can't hear your thoughts anymore, V."

"Thank God." I said, avoiding being honest, being pathetic.

A beat of silence.

"I'm not going anywhere, you know." He said slowly, pointedly. "Didn't think I had to actually say it, but can feel you sulking from here."

I sat up then, looking at the outline of his shadow in the dark.

"...It's your life, Johnny. Can't expect you to babysit me, not anymore." I said, hating myself more with each passing word.

Johnny laughed then, but it was sad. "Where else am I gonna go, V?"

"Anywhere!" I said, motioning to the window and the possibilities that lay beyond that skyline. "Everywhere!"

" _Pffft_." He said, lighting up a cig and illuminating his face with an amber glow. "You and me both know, there ain't no place for me out there. Not without you."

It felt like a confession, or maybe I just hoped that's what it was.

"...you sure that's really you, Johnny?" I asked, only half a joke.

"Nah, that's the thing, V." He shook his head, a train of smoke following his cig. "What Alt said, and _Rogue_ even,.. knocking about in your gonk brain changed me. Slowly, at first. But then..." He paused. "...and after we stormed 'Saka Tower, I mean, you'd said your goodbyes for fuck sake - thought it was game over for us!"

He took a long drag.

"Wasn't right what Alt did, and maybe she didn't know about the 6 months... maybe she did. Whichever it was, just didn't sit right with me. Couldn't let go in the Net, couldn't find peace. And that wasn't _like_ me, wasn't like old Johnny, not at all. Hadn't cared about someone like that, maybe ever. Was never one to look back. You changed that in me V, made me value things, people, little moments filled with stupid shit... you made me scared to die."

He continued to puff away. I noticed that his posture looked better, as though the terrible weight of truth had been lifted.

"Fuck, Johnny..." I didn't really know what to say, and I wasn't feeling particularly eloquent.

So I stood up, and as if possessed, walked towards him and wrapped my arms around his torso, holding him close. He stiffened up at first, and then relaxed into it, patting my back awkwardly with his metal hand. I didn't care, it was what needed to be done. He smelt musty with smoke and alcohol and he was tall, his body hard. I could feel his long hair brush against the top of my head.

I coulda' stood there all night, and maybe I should have, but I didn't. I let him go without a word and clambered back into bed, finally ready to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> s l o w b u r n ! sorry!!!!


	14. Short on Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took sooo long! Was developing an actual plotline cause I was just doing this when inspiration struck lol. Not anymore though - there's a firm plan in place and all should come together in the next couple of chapters!!!!! thanks for all the feedback ur the best

The morning came sooner than I would have liked.

The bright, polluted sunshine broke through my window, and a warm sliver fell over my eyes, threatening to blind me if I so much as blinked. I rolled over, attempting to fight off consciousness for just a moment longer, eager to stay blissfully unaware, comfortable and safe... and then I remembered. Johnny was alive. Johnny was _here_.

I sat up suddenly, back poker straight, eyes wide.

"Jesus Christ, V. You'll give yourself whiplash gettin' up that fucking fast." Came his familiar coarse drawl.

Johnny sat, bleary eyed and topless on the sofa. He'd been looking out the window, scanning the city, taking it all in. I wondered if I'd disturbed a moment of quiet contemplation and almost felt guilty, before I remembered how he'd hounded me for all those months. _Relentlessly_.

"You look sleepy." I mused. "Never seen you like that before."

He shrugged, "Haven't slept properly in 50 years, guess I needed it."

I pulled myself out of bed, conscious of the mild hangover that was riding my head. "Coffee?" I asked, making my way over to the small pot I kept beside my desk.

"That'd be preem." He said, standing up and stretching. Johnny was tall - taller than he'd seemed when he was in my head. Or maybe it was just how he stood; always hunched over and smokin' away like a vagrant.

He caught my eye then and gave me a knowing smirk. "You checkin' me out?"

I blushed, but that didn't stop my tongue. "You wish, _old man_."

"Age is just a number, V." He said, shaking his head dismissively. "I still got it. Wasn't sure you'd dig the whole short hair thing, but give me time, I'll get it back to what is was..." His tone dripping in arrogance.

"Surprised you still have hair - and teeth." I laughed harshly, pouring two mugs of mediocre coffee.

"Surprised you still have your head, what with your recent... escapades." He smirked and took a mug, without thanks.

He slurped it the same way he did booze.

"Well?"

"Hmmm..." He considered it for a moment. "Tastes like shit - but thanks."

"...Welcome." I said, sarcastically. "So... how long you been back?"

"A week. Most boring week fucking of my life - and that includes Mikoshi. Glad you're back and the fun can begin." He winked at me.

I laughed. "What the fuck did Johnny Silverhand get up to for a whole week in NC, unsupervised?" I mused, while my mind went straight to alcoholic benders, cheap hookers and hard drugs.

He rolled his eyes. "Not what you're thinking, I can assure you. Was hanging out with your chooms. Then was here, letting my mind turn to mush, before I went to see Rogue."

"How'd that go?" I asked, something stirring in the pit of my stomach - I ignored it. "You two weren't all over each other last night. Thought you might be."

He sighed. "We're on different paths, choom. Sides, she's too old to hang with us."

I smiled at that, at the collective 'us' that he'd just established. I'd thought of him and I like that for a while, partners almost - but, like I'd told him last night, he didn't need to stick with me, didn't owe me anything after this gig. Was happy he'd argued with that though.

My mind wondered to his first few days topside and how strange it must've been for him - stranger still for everyone else involved. "Vik and Judy brought you back, eh?" I asked, more to myself than to him. He'd told me snippets last night, had been blurry though, with the glaze of alcohol washing over everything. "Can't imagine you and Vik sharing air."

Johnny laughed. "Yea, he wasn't swayed by the old Silverhand charm, neither was your joy-toy cop."

My eyes widened and my mouth popped open. "...What the fuck did you say to River?"

Johnny raised his hands defensively; "Nothin', don't get your panties in a twist. Looked like a fucking freak-show though - you've got a weird type V, really fucking weird."

I trusted that he hadn't said anything too awful. "How does this work then? Any bleed go over onto you? Any butterflies in your stomach when you saw him?" I teased.

He guffawed. "That gonk never had you feelin' much of _anything_ , especially not 'butterflies'." He said the word like it'd been dipped in acid.

I smiled, but it was small. In all honestly, it hurt a little that he thought that, noticed it, even. I kept - had tried to keep - River at arms length for that very reason. River was warm, and safe, and comfortable... all the things I wasn't. Didn't stop me hoping however, that one day I could settle down, start a family maybe, far out of this shit-tip. It was a dream though, a fabrication... contentment didn't suit me, wasn't what I was after. I did my best work stressed out to high-hell, death knocking on the door. So yea, River hadn't given me butterflies, but he'd given me a glimpse of who I could be, if I wasn't... well, _me_.

Johnny seemed to sense the negative path my thoughts had taken. "'Sides, you don't need him now that I'm back."

I finished off my coffee and laughed. "So, that's what you're offering, you sick fuck." I said, sarcasm heavy as I turned to chuck my mug in the bathroom sink.

"You _wish_." He said plainly, his eyes fluttering back to the window. God, he was like a caged bird.

I took the opportunity to look at him, in the clear, sober light of day. His eyes were dark brown, his skin pale, lightly creased. There were markings, very slight, around his neck, where I'd assumed new implants had been fitted.

"How'd you get your body to Vik?" I asked, eyes still running over all the delicate pink markings that bore the telltale signs of new 'netics.

He shrugged. "Blue-Eyes told me in was under 'Saka, on ice. He pulled me out of there, sent me to some warehouse in the middle of nowhere. All I had to do was ping Vik the coordinates."

I looked down to his arms, littered with tattoos and scars. I couldn't help myself from reaching out and touching them. He didn't flinch away, or even seem particularly surprised; guess they seemed just as alien to him as they did to me. "You get these all from Cassius?" I asked.

He looked to my arm and nodded. "Most of them. See you kept yours." He said. Indicating to the coarse 'Johnny + V' etched into my arm, a gift that I had once thrown a glass at him for.

I grimaced. "A memento, I suppose. Could hardly remove it after you..."

"I'm sorry, V." He said, grabbing my hand and squeezing. There was honesty in his dark eyes, and regret.

I played off his seriousness. "It's a funny story... _now_. Wasn't so great at the time..."

"No," He said dismissively, adamant on this tonal vein. "Sorry for-"

The door knocked then, once, and with purpose.

Johnny raised an eyebrow. "We expectin' company?" He asked slowly.

I shook my head and walked towards the door. "Not that I-"

Outside stood a handsome man; tall, with hair slicked up into a neat, corpo style. He dawned a cool smile and a malevolent suit, which was pressed to perfection. Everything about him was so out of place that it would have been comical, if not for the unnerving aura that hung about him like fog.

"Can I -" I began, before familiarity caught up with me. "It's _you_."

My mind flashed back to the cool collection of data in the shape of a man that'd intercepted, propositioned and healed me in the Net.

"A pleasure, V." He greeted, a hint of a city accent in the way he spoke. "Believe we have business to discuss."

"'Mon in." I said, adrenaline seeping into my blood. Finally, it was time.

I walked over to the sofa and picked up the blanket and pillows Johnny had used as a bed last night, throwing them into an abandoned corner of the room. I realised my hands were shaking.

"Mr Silverhand." Said the man, nodding to Johnny. "Glad to see you tracked her down."

Johnny had put his aviators on while I'd answered the door; one of his many defence mechanisms, alongside aggression and substance abuse. Beneath the dark glass his eyes were unreadable, but his tone was cold when he responded. "She's a hard one to miss."

"So I am told." He said, striding over to the sofa and the space I'd cleared. He moved like water, sitting languidly upon the cheap fabric.

I sat too, feeling under-dressed, under-armed and wildly unprepared. His unnatural eyes met mine.

"Before, I didn't have a chance to introduce myself, V. I'm Mr Blue-Eyes." He said, and his eyes almost sparkled, as if they were giving an explanation.

"A pleasure." I said, being as polite as any merc would when faced with a contract that could, possibly, save their skin.

"Now..." He said, pulling a leaflet from the inside of his jacket and handing it to me. "This job, involves stealing a data cache - from the Crystal Palace."

***

"This is it. Our last week on Earth - maybe. _Probably_. Hopefully not." I said, anxiously chattering away as Johnny puffed on a smoke.

Mr. Blue Eyes had given us the heist deets, well, some of them. We'd be leaving for space via Orbital Air in one week. Blue Eyes claimed his info had come from the Arasaka data breach directly, and I had a tendency to believe him. Sure, he seemed like a shady fuck, and the vagueness of the mission was giving me serious flashbacks to Konpeki Plaza... but I was a woman with nothing to loose.

Well, maybe _one_ thing.

"You don't have to come with, you know..."

"Blue Eyes said we had to go together, V."

"Yea, but it's not really your responsibility -"

"For fucks sake! Give it a rest, will ya? We're going together." He said sternly, throwing his cig to the ground and grinding it beneath his boot. Johnny had woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Yesterdays visit had left him all types of angry... and scared.

We were trapped in an impossible contract, and Johnny knew only too well what being hopelessly trapped was like. 

Anyway, this morning I'd finally called everyone, to let them know that I was ok, my cyberpsycho-ness was 'under control' and that - if they didn't already know - Johnny had his body back. The responses had been... mixed. I'd lied straight past the part about Mr Blue Eyes giving us the mission, 'cause I knew that they'd have tried to talk us out of it, or help... or, _something_. Something heartfelt and supportive but pointless, nonetheless. This had to be done, and it had to be us.

So, we were off to see Kerry. He was uncomplicated and blessedly self-obsessed, so he wouldn't stick his nose in where it wasn't welcome. But we hadn't called him, or told him anything for that matter. Johnny said he wanted the 'old bastard' to have a heart attack, and the irony of that statement appeared to be lost on him. Anyways, the Us Cracks tour was on a break and I knew he'd be up in North Oak, sunning himself by the pool. Not a care in the world, until...

"Kerry, s'me." I announced through the intercom. I coulda just strolled on in, but Johnny wanted to be the one standing at the door. Bloody showman.

A moments pause.

"V!" He chirped, happily. "2 secs."

Mine and Kerrys relationship was uncharacteristically good. He'd been one of the few chooms of Johnny's who'd really treated me... like _me_. He'd appreciated my company devoid of Johnny, and had rarely broached the subject of him at all once we'd started hanging out. And there was a quiet understanding between us: Johnny was a fucking asshole, but we were both inexplicably drawn to him. He was a choom, one of the best either of us had ever had - would ever have. Pitiful really, but an infliction that we could share with each other, and each other alone. And it felt good to spill my guts to someone who would listen without judgement. One night, after too many shots, I'd let my tongue fly, confessing my fear of my impending doom, and how it was matched only by fear of loosing Johnny, of being alone. He'd said he understood, and I'd believed him.

Kerry had known that me and Johnny were planning... _something_. But he'd never dug too deep, and we both knew it was wrong to get him involved. He also seemed to understand that when the time came, Johnny would be the one getting the boot to cyberspace. Which he had.

He'd called me post-'Saka, and when I'd come to, I'd fired off a quick "All good - talk soon" response. But after that, I'd ignored all follow-up messages - at the time, being close to him had been painful. He was a constant reminder of what I'd lost.

However, that wasn't exactly the case anymore.

Me and Johnny stood in the doorway like two awkward school kids. I wasn't sure why... but I never felt entirely comfortable in Kerry's world, or his home. There was this strange, corpo aesthetic that ran through the entirety of the mansion and gave it an impersonal, hollow feel - completely dissimilar to the owner. I felt out of place with my bright clothing and cheap hair, and I was sure that Johnny (whose aesthetic seemed to be stuck firmly in 2020) felt the same.

"V! The _fuck_ -" Boomed Kerry, as his door swooshed open with a grand motion. His gold and cheery face was pulled into a smile, before his eyes met those of someone who he was certain - _positive_ , in fact - that he would never see again. Not in this life, anyway.

Him and Johnny stared at each other, and for a second I was reminded of one of those ancient animal shows, where the two tigers weigh one another up, just before they collide... and collide they did, in a hug that went on for so long I started to feel like a third wheel.

After they finally broke apart, Kerry rushed us indoors. And then he was crying, and yelling, and crying again. He was so happy that Johnny, that I, that we _both_ were alive. So confused but, as we'd hoped, not overly hung up on the details. And then he was angry, about me not replying, about Johnny not contacting him as soon as he came too, about fucking Arasaka and 'Johnny's tireless dance with the devil'... But Johnny's face was smoothed into a relaxed smile the whole time, and despite Kerry's tsunami of emotions, he seemed weightless, peaceful even, amongst the lavish furnishings he hated so much.

"That's enough of that, Ker." He said finally, motioning to me. "We got a week before we've got something to do, somewhere we needa be... just wanted to see you first, have a couple of drinks, bitch. Like old times."

That almost sent Kerry into another spiral. 

"The two of youse..." He pointed violently at us both "...never fuckin' sit down! Not even gonna ask what this 'something' is, sure it'll be a fuckin' disaster!" He snapped, glaring at us for a moment. But then his expression softened. He breathed in, and out, and then a small smirk spread across his features. "I'll get the tequila - the good stuff." And he scurried off towards the bar.

Johnny looked at me and I smiled, I could tell we were gonna' be in for a long night. 

God, why did our time have to be so fuckin' short?!


	15. Space Girl

It was a strange thing, to accept death. I'd done it twice now, and honestly, it had been something of a relief each time. Everything was more beautiful, less stressful, when you knew it might be the last thing you ever did. The world, and your fate, completely out of your control. Your body completely free of the struggle for life. It was something close to true peace. Hadn't known much of peace in my life, but I had then, and I did now.

We had our suits on, and while cosy, they'd been most colourfully (and accurately) described by Johnny as 'plastic-smelling duvets laden with rocks'. Never thought V from Heywood would dawn a space suit - but here I was. They'd always seemed so glamourous on the ad's channel, where various corps had peddled the idea of space security as a career choice to be proud of. Wasn't feeling very proud now - every step was an exaggerated effort, and I almost fell twice, tripping over my own giant feet. On a normal day, I would have laughed about it... but that wasn't where my head was right now. Wasn't where either of our heads where.

Johnny had been eerily quiet throughout the trip, and a little part of me wondered if he was just massively hungover. We'd spent our week zooming around the city, mostly with Kerry, drinking every bar we could find completely dry - of the good stuff, at least. It'd been fun to live like a rockstar, to be a new addition to what was essentially Samuri's ghost crew. Had been nice to spend the time with Johnny too, get to know him outside of my head and imminent danger.

We hadn't said goodbye to anyone; like I'd told him once before on that rooftop, I wasn't one to go out with a grandiose speech. Besides, we didn't need anyone to tell us how gonked this plan was - we were acutely aware.

The plan was, on paper, rather simple. Crystal Palace's security was off for one day and one day only - for maintenance. All Arasaka owned, of course. That meant that any breaches of the external wall would go unnoticed for 6 whole hours, and that was our golden window of opportunity. We'd received blueprints of the place from Blue Eyes, and they'd shown an external door on level 77, used for repair work and the like. With the correct access card, it would be a doozy for us to get inside. Thankfully, Blue Eyes had provided us with that much.

Then, things got complicated. We needed to get to the central control room, which was somewhere on the top level. Inside, there was a large mainframe - containing what? I didn't know - but on the supercomputer was a data cache that Blue Eyes wanted. And in exchange, he was willing to save me.

But the whole place was a mystery, to Johnny and myself. Yea, there was a casino resort for 20 levels, with all the trimmings that fat corpo bastards loved. But, what of the other floors? Johnny guessed some 'Saka business venture; maybe offices or a production line. I didn't have a morbid enough imagination to guess, but I was sure it couldn't be good. Besides, that was the least of our worries. Whatever lurked behind those metal walls would be teaming with 'Saka security - best in the world, if you believed the propaganda.

"You look nervous." Said Johnny, handing me a helmet. It was the first time he'd properly spoken to me since we'd left.

I guffawed. "Think you're the nervous one, Johnny. Been quiet as a mouse."

Johnny shrugged. "Been thinkin', plannin', V. Might want to try it sometime."

I blanked at that, and held the helmet under my arm. "Nothin' left to plan really, is there?" I asked, and it wasn't really directed at him. It was directed at everything that had brought me - _us_ \- here. If I'd learnt anything in my life, it was that planning only got you so far. Only worked on the rare occasion... and this didn't seem like one of them.

"Nah, none of that V." He replied, annoyance on his tongue. So, he was taking the optimistic route - _God_ , he really had changed.

"Maybe we should just fuck it all off, fly back down and disappear. Still gotta couple months, could spend it annoying Kerry." I half-joked. He saw through it though.

"Shut the fuck up." He barked aggressively. He looked me up and down, like I smelt of shit. "We're gonna get through this, and we're gonna get that cure."

It made me smile, that fake confidence that he pushed through so vigorously. But it was just that, a fraudulent dream to comfort the dead - to comfort me, and maybe, himself.

We were a great team, I'd argue the best duo in the whole of the West Coast - we'd taken on 'Saka successfully, for fuck sake. Johnny was a crack shot, and his aggression worked well in combat, where he was relentless in the chase. I was the best merc in all of NC, not that I was technically there at the moment... but I'd worked hard for that title, honed my body and my 'netics into something that could get me jobs, make me feared. Didn't know how well those talents would fair us here though, stranded on foreign turf, in a sea of enemies.

And while I'd made my peace with the fact that I was a goner, Johnny's fate still rested uncomfortably on my shoulders. When I'd broached the topic with him earlier in the week, he'd been pissed. But I had to give him a way out, one final time, before it was too late.

The tiny screen in the corner of the bay indicated that we were almost at the drop off point.

"Johnny..." I started, looking into his brown eyes.

He looked at me suspiciously, unsure of my tone.

"If you wanna leave -" He went to interrupt me with a livid look, but I brushed him off. "I _have_ to say it, Johnny." I continued, unabashed. "If you wanna leave, please, _leave_. If you don't wanna leave... you're gonked." I was practically begging now, desperate for at least one of us to see sense in all of this. "You have a whole life, choom. And we both know you're wasting it here, with me."

I looked at my boots, a little embarrassed by how heartfelt that had gotten, but I'd meant every word. There was more I had to say too; like how I couldn't be without him, how lonely I'd been when I'd thought he was gone for good, and how a little bit of my chest ached whenever I pictured him moving on without me, or dying with me in that fucking Casino. But that would make him feel guilty, make him stay.

So, I was surprised when we looked at me like I'd just cursed out his mother; eyebrows to the roof and mouth slightly ajar. He shook his head and put a hand out, as if he was trying to comprehend what I'd just said.

Eventually, he spoke. "I'm not even gonna' give you the satisfaction of an argument, 'cause everything you just said is _bullshit_." He pointed at my harshly with his 'ganic hand. "And you fuckin' know it, V."

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, and that only spurred him on. "I'm here, _aren't I_? Coulda ran off at any point. But I didn't. Said I'd get you through this. Hell V, this is the only reason Blue Eyes even brought me back. So don't give me that solo bullshit, it's embarrassing." He spat.

"'Bullshit'?" I repeated snidely, annoyed that he was taking this so out of context. "I'm giving you a fuckin' choice, you bastard!"

"Thanks, V, for endowing me with the gift of free will." He mocked, giving a little curtsey that was muted by the suit.

"You're a cunt, Johnny." I said coldly.

"And you're a dick-" He started, but I cut him off. I was sick of this fucking back and forth, we didn't have time. Not now.

"I don't want you to fuckin' die!" I yelled, a little surprised by how angry - no, _frustrated_ \- I was getting.

He couldn't die. Couldn't leave me.

Not like before, not like Jackie.

"Why?" he exclaimed, "We both know I'm well past my best. Anyway, I'm part of the reason you're here now, in space, scrambling for your fucking life. So, why don't you want me to die? Why do you even care?" He said it gruffly, but there was an undercurrent in his voice. Something naked and raw that curled around that question.

I felt like the air had been pulled from my lungs. Just what was he really, truthfully asking? "What?" I asked, incredulously.

He looked into my eyes as if he was searching for something and I stared back, the answers I had to his question sitting on the roof of my mouth, threatening to escape.

"Why?" he repeated, an echo from before.

"...'cause... _we're_..."

How you could tell someone like Johnny how much they meant to you? We were in a unique position, and he was an asshole. But why was I, a merc with a fuckin' silver tongue, so terrible at voicing my own feelings?!

I was still struggling through my sentence when his lips found mine.

I froze under his touch, shocked and a little unsure. Before I could pull away, could see sense, something not fully realised jumped out of my chest and sent my head spinning. It was warm and it grabbed hold of me, burning from the inside out, and... I refused to put up a fight.

I kissed him back, feverishly. His lips were cool, while mine felt unnaturally hot.

The kiss was rough and desperate, and maybe at its core, I considered it a kind of goodbye.

His hands wove themselves into my long hair and I wrapped my arms around his neck, letting the helmet fall from my grasp and hit the floor with a metallic bang.

We ignored it, and continued to explore each other, our breath becoming ragged and harsh.

Suddenly the screen beeped, alerting us that we had reached our destination.

We flinched at the intrusion; both a little red around the cheeks, both a little disgruntled.

"That was... unexpected." I breathed, after a few, introspective beats of silence.

Johnny shook his head lightly, and his hair followed suit. "Not really." He shrugged. "Surprised it didn't happen sooner, honestly."

Always Mr Cool... how annoying. "Oh, really?" I teased.

We were still so close, and neither one of us pulled away. There was something about being close to him like this, at the start of our second end, that made me feel... electric, almost.

He must have felt it too, 'cause his dark eyes dropped to my lips, as though he was considering them... before my holo beeped. I didn't wanna read it, but knew that I should. 

I unwound myself from him, with my head still foggy from the kiss, from this... new development. Reading the message snapped me back to though.

"It's Blue Eyes," I told Johnny, voice quiet. "Wishin' us luck."

Johnny rolled his eyes, "Don't need luck."

He picked up a pistol, one of two - gifts from Blue Eyes, we'd assumed. He loaded it, and handed it to me.

"Show time." He said, clicking on his helmet.


	16. Sharon, Who?

I'd seen a lot in my life; well, 2 lives. Hadn't seen space though, not up close. Had never wanted to, either. Night City, the Corpos, the eternal greed of man etc etc etc - those were my fights. Not this though, not way up here. This was the backdrop to V's story, and hopefully, the tale would be a happy one.

Was glad I'd kissed her, glad I'd let her know she meant something to me. Something big. Was a rockstar move too, to kiss the output just before a suicide mission. That's what this was. Had to be. Wouldn't let her think that though, she could still come outta' this ok. Blue Eyes had his sights set on her, for one reason or another. And despite the questions that that raised, it meant she was important. How and why would be tomorrow's problem - all she had to do now was survive.

So, we floated along through the nothing, to some porthole on the side of the metal conglomerate that was the Crystal Palace. From the outside, it was nothing special. Night City had better optics, but I guessed if you were into that - _Space_ \- there might be some beauty to it.

I trained my eyes on the far away ball of light that was Earth. It looked so small. Would've really made me question if this was all worth it, all this fighting, just to muddle through an existence that was so inconsequential to the universe - _would_ have, if it hadn't been for the girl in front of me. She was propelling herself onwards, not stopping to look about her, not faltering. Mind on the mission, a truly loyal merc, right to the end.

Watching her... a million different futures played out in font of me; most of them bad, but not all of them. There was still a slither of hope there; and that wasn't like me at all, had to be her influence.

God, there was something about V, something unshakable. It was hard to image existing without her, living in a world, in a time where she didn't, _hadn't_. Still, I'd done it. We all knew how that had gone for me though, didn't we?

We reached the metal door, it was smaller than expected. A sphere of shiny silver, with a huge, coarse '77' emblazoned upon it.

"This is it, Johnny." Said V over the holo, a mix of fear and excitement in her voice.

"Gently does it." I responded, as she brought forward the key-card that she'd strapped to her arm. It was on a lanyard, to prevent it floating off into the nothing. Clever. 

She swiped slowly and the porthole gave way with a steady rumble. Any other day, I was sure that this small action would have alerted security - but not today.

When it had opened wide enough, V stuffed herself through the door, and I followed suit. After we were both in, she wasted no time in sealing it back up. Now, there was only one more external door to go through - after that, gravity would resume and the mission would truly begin.

We moved on through until she hit the gravity lock, and we came floating back to the ground. 

God, I'd almost forgotten how fuckin' heavy this suit was. I grunted as I peeled it off me, throwing the helmet away, slightly more aggressively than was warranted.

" _Jesus_ Johnny, do you wanna give our position away?" moaned V, taking time to unzip and dismantle her own suit.

"Fuck off." I retorted, a reflex response at this point.

I gave my pistol a final once over; seemed to be in good shape. Wish we coulda taken V's arsenal, but Blue Eyes had wanted us to travel light. _Bastard_.

V, finally ready to go, did the same. She'd taken her katana with her as well, just for a bitta extra support - were the situation to get extra dicey.

"Guess this is it." She said to me, with a beautiful, scared smile.

This was, oddly enough, probably the best we'd ever looked. At least, together. We were dressed strictly corpo style, which for V was fuckin' weird. I'd never known many street rats before her, mosta' my crew had been blow-ins to the city. Not her though. She was the picture-girl for Heywood, right down to the bright hair and shit-eating grin.

I was wearing some god-awful tux. Honestly looked like I was on route to a fuckin' funeral - most likely my own. But V was dressed in a red dress that really clung to her figure, and her make-up didn't include the usual clown-esque colour palette that she favoured.

God, she was like a fuckin' drug.

I leaned towards her, wanting to take in as much of her as I could.

But we had to go, this had to wait. I pulled back.

She raised an eyebrow. "You wanna make out some more?" She mocked, eyeing the room around her as if that highlighted the inappropriateness of our situation.

I laughed quietly. "Be plenty of time for that later." I said, enjoying the flush that plastered her cheeks.

Good, a little part of her believed that there would, _could_ , be a 'later'.

She took a steadying breath, and opened the door that would lead us into the maintenance hallway.

This was it. The time had come.

***

"Two on your right, one on your left!" She screamed, as wood chips flew through her hair. "No, Johnny, your _other_ right!"

I steadied my arm and fired off, hitting my targets despite the fuckin' circus that surrounded us. Precision was my strong suit, direction was not.

We'd padded through around 20 floors in relative silence. Well, not me, but V had. She was like a fucking phantom, netrunning at every opportunity, and when that failed, going for the silent kill. If I didn't love berating her so much, I'd have voiced how impressive it all was. It wasn't much different to how we'd run 'Saka together, 'cept I'd been a ghost in her head then - I was a shadow by her side now.

The floors prior to reaching the Casino were fucking dull; just tonnes of cooling equipment and weird chemical vats. We guessed most of it was for the Casino; maintenance, AC, food storage and the like. V said the stuff seemed medical though. Weird, sure, but not as morbid as we'd been expecting. Security hadn't been too thick either; especially with V's daemons shutting off all the cameras and turrets. Honestly, we'd been getting a little cocky.

That's when we'd hit the Casino floors.

Back in my day, I'd seen movies with this kind of set up. The dark, stained wood. The plush, velour seating and the gold, gaudy accents that screamed luxury in the same way a Tyger Claw did. That is to say, not at fuckin' all. It was a replica of a time gone by, and in my opinion, one best forgotten. Still, I could imagine the appeal to the rich of NC. They spent their time in a contemporary wasteland, so far removed from the clutter of the streets, and the opulence of old money. That wasn't to say the place wasn't kitted out though; there were modern fixtures too - I could see a killer light set-up surrounding one of the main stages and, for a brief second, imagined playing on it. Never would though. Wasn't a fuckin' sell out, no matter how good the 'technics were.

Anyway, we'd been sauntering through the Casino, trying to seem like we belonged, when V had dropped her fuckin' clutch and her pistol had slid half-way across the floor. Security, finally deciding to give us a run for our money, had chosen to fire first and ask questions later.

The irony of how clumsy the best, sneakiest merc in all of NC was wasn't lost on us. 

We were sprinting now, hoping that we could lose them and then make our way to the top floors. We were close to where we needed to be, and running out of time.

"This way!" yelled V, making her way through a maintenance door. I stumbled through after her, neither one of us looking back. We scuttled up a security ladder onto the next floor and took a quick breather.

V was sweaty, and her makeup was smudged. I could feel my own exhaustion through my 'ganic hand; it was cramping from where I'd clung onto the pistol.

So, the rumours were true; the security here really was better than most.

V, as if reading my mind, laughed and said. "Starting to see what Blue Eyes was talking about." 

"Who'd have thought that a pistol on the floor would cause so much panic?" I joked, "Like these folks never been to Night City or somethin'."

"Not our version of it, anyways." She sighed, massaging her shoulder.

"That's a shame." I said, and I meant it. V and mine's version of NC was the fuckin' best. Terrible and tragic yea, but the best by a long shot.

Slowly, our breathing returned to normal. I got to my feet and dusted my knees off. "Shall we?" I asked, extending my hand.

V smirked and took it, her hand more calloused than it should have been for her age. "We fuckin' shall." She replied, sliding her pistol back into her clutch. It was her last weapon; the Katana having to be abandoned when we reached the populated floors.

We went to exit the maintenance area, and were greeted with a fancy-as-fuck corridor.

I let out a low whistle. "This must be where the important cunts stay." I whispered.

V nodded. "Think you might be right." she said, her eyes lighting up as she scanned the area with her kiroshi's.

The place was more minimal than the casino floor that we'd just been on, but it still carried through the rich wood and gold detailing. The floors - wooden, of course - were polished to such a sheen that they may as well have been glass.

Doors littered the walls, adorned with ornate numbers. Each had it's own entry key-pad.

"There's an access tunnel to the next floor through one of the rooms." She said, eyes still in cyberspace. "Number 363"

And then she was back in real-space.

I nodded and we marched towards the room without a word; I could tell V was holding her breath and I didn't blame her. If someone was to spot us now, shit would hit the fan - again. Wasn't sure we could out manoeuvre the bastards a second time.

It was a couple of beats till we reached the door, but V hacked in quickly. It crossed my mind that without a netrunner, this gig _would_ be impossible. Maybe Blue Eyes hadn't counted on that - I doubted it though. Seemed to me like he knew everything there was to know about V, and myself. Had Alt told him? _Why?_

There wasn't time to think about it, not now. The door slid open suddenly, and we threw ourselves inside, backs to the wall and weapons drawn. We were greeted to a half-dressed corpo couple, making out on the bed. Their expressions were almost comical; a quick journey through all the shades of shock to the hardy grips of fear, and finally; panic.

"Hands up!" I yelled at them, almost certain that a room of this calibre would be soundproof. "And not a fuckin' sound."

They jumped up out of the bed and held their arms up. The man was shaking. The woman started to get teary.

"Please," she begged. " _Please_ , don't hurt us."

"Don't give us reason to." I said simply, and I turned to V.

She was already on it, scanning the room, looking for the door. She turned her eyes upwards.

"Above the bed." she stated, pointing up. Her eyes dropped to the people, considering them. "Let's tie these fuckers up, so they can't go blabbing."

"Preem idea." I said, grabbing the duvet and ripping into it. It would have to do.

V kept her eyes on the corps.

Suddenly, the woman's expression changed. " _Sharon_?" She asked through silent tears, a glimmer of hope in her voice.

Neither one of us responded.

"Sharon? Is that you?" She asked again, looking at V.

"What the fuck are you talkin' about?" Asked V, eyebrows raised.

"Sharon, _it's_ -"

"Her name isn't Sharon, fuckwit." I said, moving behind the pair and securing their hands. They were either too scared or too smart to try and fight; whichever it was, suited me just fine.

A fresh tear ran down the woman's cheek. "Sorry, _sorry_..." she mouthed.

"Might want to stay off booze for the rest of the night." I sneered, eyeing the bottle of red beside the bed.

V shook her head, as if banishing the confusion. "You're one to talk." she quipped at me, as she began pulling the bed from its position, using her 'netics. 

"Help me up?" she asked, pointing towards the tile that was a secret door.

"Sure thing, fuckin' bitch." I said, unable to let that jibe go unanswered.

Once she was through, she pulled me up. 

We were in a crawl space. But there was a small hatch to our left that would bring us to the next floor.

Another one down, only a couple more to go.


	17. Gig Done

_Watson, Night City. 2077._

"You always live in the shit part of the City?" Asked Johnny, taking a lazy smoke. His eyes were trained on a junkie, hobbling over to the nearest wall. Probably to throw up.

"Heywood born n' bred." I said, not too keen on his tone. Street folk like me didn't take too kindly to snobbery.

"Don't get pissy." He moaned, throwin' the cig away and putting his hands up, defensively. "Can't be bothered flicking through your shitty memories - so thought I'd just ask."

I stopped in my tracks. "You can... see my memories?" I asked, slightly panicked. Fuck. There was a lot of private shit in my brain, most of it I wasn't overly proud of either.

"Bits and pieces. Just like how you can mine. Fair trade, I suppose."

I scoffed, hoping it hid some of my unease.

"I'm in your head, V. Can't hide anything from me." He taunted.

"You're a sick fuck." I whispered out-loud. Thankfully, we really were in the part of town where talkin' to yourself was, at best, considered acceptable behaviour and at worst, ignored.

Johnny appeared in front of me suddenly, and rolled his eyes. "Most people in this fuckin' city are sheep, and face it V - you're one of them. Barely have an original thought in that gonk head of yours. Most of your memories look like the miserable plotlines of a second-rate sit-com. So relax, there ain't much to spy on."

I stared at him with as much hatred as I could muster and my hand crept towards my pocket. Had a bunch of blockers in there, just had to be strong enough to use em'.

Johnny, fully aware of what I was doing, raised an eyebrow, as if to test me.

I sighed. And decided against it.

Even if he was a class-A cunt, he didn't deserve to be blocked out. Not everyday, at least.

Besides, Takemura was waiting for me, and I didn't want a headache on-top of trying to understand his contrived corpo scheming.

"""

"This is the floor, Johnny." I said, eyeing the huge metal door that lay in front. It was ominous, and a little hard-core (even for the Crystal Palace), but I was too exhausted to care.

The last few floors had been packed full of security, human and robotic. We'd been too numb and clumsy to sneak past, so we'd shot our way through. Wasn't my usual style; but Johnny had seemed right at home.

Bullets almost spent and bodies aching, my kiroshi's had alerted me to the temperature rise on this floor - and if a heat signature like that wasn't the super-computer, I dunno what the fuck was.

"Thank holy fuck." breathed Johnny, looking more worse for wear than I'd ever seen him. His face was bleeding in multiple places, and bruises were already forming a dark tapestry against his skin. His suit - or what was left of it - resembled some cheap Halloween outfit from Party Night-City.

Forgetting myself, forgetting where we were, I moved some stray hair from his face, and tucked it behind his ear.

He smirked lightly and winked, but was too spent to quip back like he usually did.

"We going in?" He asked, nodding to the door.

"You betcha." I said, locking into the mainframe and releasing the door. It opened with a hiss.

Prepared for the worse, we stalked forward with our weapons drawn. Alert as we could manage and not a breath shared between us, we looked for any signs of danger.

But, there wasn't any.

The room was large, maybe the size of the main casino. But it wasn't plush and lively like that had been, instead, this room was painfully bare. The floor was damp and constructed of large metal sheets, interrupted occasionally by stray wires, loose panelling and glass windows, which gave way to ominous spacing below. The walls were littered with various pieces of complex tech and an array of terminals; they were all online, letting out strange beeps whilst flashing code.

The room had an eerie quality, not unlike 'Saka tower. But here, the intimidating reds were nowhere to be found. Instead, the space was illuminated in a cool, blue glow, the origin of which was unspecified.

" _The fuck?_ " I breathed, adamant on maintaining my guard despite the supposed vacancy of the room.

"This doesn't look like a..." Began Johnny, and I knew that he was thinking back to Mikoshi, for I was too. It was the only giant computer that I'd ever seen - may ever see, at this rate. But this looked more like... a _lab_ , maybe?

"This place... ever seen anything like it?" I whispered, giving the space a final once over.

Johnny shook his head and, clearly believing that imminent death was behind us, strolled over to one of the screens. His stared at the changing landscape of code for just a moment, before attempting to log into the server.

"Fuck!" He yelled, forgetting to whisper.

"The fuck is it?" I asked, moving up behind him to get an eyeful of what he was doing.

"Facial Recognition, fuckin' rich cunts and their -"

" _Welcome, S. Four_." Flashed on the screen suddenly and the display opened to reveal an abundance of programmes, messages, net-cuts... everything. Whoever S. Four was, we were on their server.

"The fuck?" I asked him, surprised at his new found tech abilities. "How'd you do that?"

Johnny stared at me, "Wasn't me." He said with a forced calm, "Was you, V. Was _your_ fucking face."

I scoffed. "What?" I pushed him aside to go into the user profile. "You've lost the fuckin' plot."

The profile flashed onto the screen, unmissable, unmistakeable...

" _Sharon Four. Head of Security for the Crystal Palace. Employer: Arasaka._ "

By eyes flew through the rest of her info, logging it to memory.

She was 29. She was 5'6. She had stern, grey eyes, high cheekbones and a sharp jaw.

She was me.

And she was dead.

" _Deceased._

 _Cause of Death: Suicide._ "

The date of it... was a week ago today.

My head was spinning - what the fuck was this?

"Johnny..." I looked up at him, and his brow was furrowed. His eyes were stuck to the woman's image, as if looking at it enough would provide him with the answers he needed. "...What is this shit?"

He shook his head slowly. "Honestly, V, I have no fuckin' clue. Know you don't have a sister."

"Who...is she?" I breathed.

"Messages - open them." Said Johnny, focused. It was a comfort to have him here; shaken as he was, he still had his focus, which was more than I could say for myself.

With a shaky hand I opened the message folder, and started scrolling.

Sharon had been a big deal around here; major player in the running of the Palace. A bit of a corpo bitch as well, by the sounds of it. She'd set up more than a few flatlines in the last month alone, none of them made public or publicized. Real shady shit.

Her messages consisted of barking orders and kissing ass - tone dependant on the recipient. They were interesting enough, sure, but not what we were looking for...

Finally, I reached her most recent inbox - updated the day before she died.

She'd written to some gonk, Brian:

"You thought I'd never find out what you had in those vats? I never gave my permission for that shit B, and the team knows it. You get me an audience with everyone involved by this time tomorrow, or I blow the lid on this place."

She hadn't got a reply from him, but she had from an unknown sender;

"not real."

"Vats?" Asked Johnny, "What the fuck is she talking about?"

"Not a fuckin' -" I started, but my eyes glitched suddenly. Quick red mixed with black and a roaring, burning pain that soared through my skull.

I could feel Johnny run at me and press on my forearms. Knew he was speaking, but not what he was saying.

What the fuck was happening? The thought repeated again and again.

Whatever it was, I sure hoped I wasn't dying, so full of questions, yet completely and utterly devoid of answers.

***

I woke up to screaming, despite not remembering passing out. I was propped up against a wall, and it was cold and hard against my spine.

I opened my eyes slowly, and the world was too bright. A few blinks dimmed it down though, and I could see that we were in a different room than we had been. This one was barren, apart from a huge structure that I assumed was the computer.

Johnny was facing it, downloading something...

The data cache!

I pulled myself up, "That it?" I croaked.

He spun to face me, face white.

"Fuck V, thought you'd flatlined." he said, worried... and scared.

"Nope." I said, as lightly as I could. I'd been blacking out for almost a year now, didn't worry me anymore, at least not as much as it used to.

Johnny nodded, and then quickly resumed to screaming. Someone was on his holo - and I had a good idea who.

"...Shady as fuck details, we barely managed to make it here!"

"But you did." Blue Eyes voice was distant and devoid of emotion - the complete opposite of Johnny.

"You owe us a fuckin' explanation!"

"That was not part of the deal. You get that cache to me, and -"

I strode up behind Johnny, peering into his hollow. Blue Eyes was there, clean and crisp as ever. He didn't look surprised to see me.

"What is this place?" I asked, interrupting Johnny, not that he seemed to care. He stopped talking and looked to the caller, awaiting a response that neither of us expected to come - with honesty, at least.

"The answers are there, V. If you want to find them, that is. _However_ , I would suggest you let sleeping dogs lie." He stated, and there was an undercurrent of warning in his tone.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean? You're fuckin' gonked if you think I'm just gonna stroll outta' here after seeing... that woman, _who the fuck was she_?" My voice quieted towards the end of the sentence, and Johnny gripped onto my arm, to comfort, no, to ground me.

The screen flashed then; data transference complete.

Blue Eyes nodded, having received the info.

Completely bypassing my questions, he went back into business mode. "There's another exit hatch 300 metres to the left of where you are now. It can only be opened internally. There's suits waiting. Make your way out, and the ship should close in - will be close enough for you two to reach. Make your way on board and set it to manual - it'll bring you back to Orbital Air."

"But -" I started again, anger rising.

"You have an hour before security is re-established. After that, escape will be impossible. Do what you want with that time. But it is not a risk that I would take."

Silence fell upon us then, and Blue Eyes took that as a cue to conclude the conversation. "I'll find you at the Afterlife. Then, we'll get you cured."

And with that he was gone.

Me and Johnny stared at the blank holo for a moment too long, our breathing the only acoustics.

Finally, Johnny spoke.

"Let's get out of here, V." He said sternly, eyeing me up with uncertainty.

My mind was going a million miles a minute, and he seemed to get the picture.

He grabbed both of my shoulders and forced me to look at him, his eyes wide, pleading. He bent down, and kissed me lightly. "We did it, V. Impossible gig, well and truly fuckin' done. Now lets delta. You heard what Blue Eyes said..."

"I heard exactly what the bastard said!" I spat, "There's more going on in this shit-hole!"

"He was taunting you, V. He knows you. Know's you'd do the exact opposite of what he suggested."

"Why would he do that?!" I said, throwing my arms up.

"You're the fuckin' merc here, V! Why do you think? He's got his prize, and if we both flatline now he's got it for free. Corpo bastards like a bargain, and love a fucking freebie."

He had a point. A big one.

"The computer, anything on it?" I asked, desperate for something that would explain... anything!

Johnny smirked, but kept his lips sealed.

" _What_?!" I almost yelled, too impatient to put up with his childish bullshit right now.

"Transferred the cache to Blue Eyes... and to Judy." he said quickly. "Needed the insurance, in case he's as big of a cunt as I suspect and pussy's out on his end of the deal."

"How...?" was all I managed. Johnny hated anything to do with tech, was made by corporations, after all.

He shrugged, "Called her earlier in the week, when you were drunk off your nut. Said she could take the data, and hide the trace. Gave me something - a blanket code. Scrambles the download signal."

I went to open my mouth again, but he waved me off.

"Don't ask too many questions, choom. I've got no fuckin' clue how it all works." He sighed, and gave me a small, exhausted smile.

I nodded. "And you didn't tell me... _because_?"

Johnny rolled his eyes. "Didn't want you to freak - or know I was involving Judy."

"Smart..." I breathed. I was a little impressed, it had to be said. And there was too much adrenaline flooding through my system for me to really consider the consequences of this action. Johnny had, in a way, double crossed Blue Eyes, and put a target on Judy's back. Despite what I'd said, that didn't seem smart at all.

I looked around the room, this had to be the room over from the lab. Surely there was more answers there... _something_ to find...

Johnny wasn't having that though.

"C'mon V." He said, taking my hand and pulling me to the left, to the exit.

I wanted to rip out of his grasp and solve this mystery, no matter how horrific the answers might be. But we were a team, we did things together. And, he was right.

I went with him. Thoughts still on 'Sharon'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does this make ****any**** sense! idk but hope it's still fun :)


	18. Smoking and Boning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg i acc cringed writing this but couldn't avoid it.  
> Anyway, s e x warning!!!!!

"Go to fuckin' sleep, V. Christ, it's like I'm in your head again, can practically hear you thinking." Moaned Johnny, and he threw a pillow at me from the sofa.

We'd got back to Earth a couple of hours ago, but it'd been the dead of night, and not wanting to wake Judy or lead Blue Eyes straight to her (were things to go south) we'd scurried back to my apartment. Would leave at first light though - Johnny was right. I needed to see what was on that cache, and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I abandoned the idea of sleep and reached for a cig; I kept them on my bed-stand now. And even without looking, I knew that Johnny was raising a surprised brow. I hadn't smoked before him.

I was glad it was dark, and glad that we'd been too exhausted to talk much on the flight back. Johnny and I... we'd crossed an unspoken boundary during the gig. We'd both thought that we were gonna die, and it was no secret that we both cared about each other - maybe too much... but, did that make it fake? false? worth less than if that hadn't been the context?

I didn't know. Hadn't even known I'd felt that way about Johnny... or maybe I had. I'd been supressing it, 'cause frankly it was _ridiculous_. I knew how he treated women, better than anyone. I'd seen it, lived it. But there was something about him... that indescribable thing that both Kerry and me had expressed to one another.

I'd long since crossed the love boundary with Johnny, but it'd been in a 'friendly' way. Honestly, it had been in a Jackie way. But now that he had a body, was here, a separate entity... that love had definitely taken on a different taste.

I moved to the window and opened it, puffing away into the soft night air. Maybe if I smoked enough, my brain would shut off.

Johnny groaned off the sofa, lit his own, and proceeded to join me. Seeing someone else smoke always made him itch for one. He came so close I could practically feel the heat radiating off him.

We stood like that, in comfortable silence, until our lights burned out and we flicked them out the window. Wherever they landed be damned.

Johnny turned to me then, and I to him. We stared at each other for a moment, taking in the others cuts and bruises, curtesy of our stay at the Crystal Palace. Nothing _too_ bad - we'd both be right as rain in a few days.

I smiled and I went up to brush a small piece of ash off his beard, which was probably my doing. Was still finding my feet with this whole 'cool' smoking thing that he'd left me with. He leaned into my touch.

God, we were so close to each other now, the boundaries between us extremely blurred... We were truly two halves of a whole, and what we had done, seen, in those 6 months together in my head was... legendary. We both knew it, and though I'd never have the ego to say it, Johnny might.

His hand reached for my chin then, and he held it with the lightest of touches, fingers calloused from years of playing guitar. My face almost crackled with electricity under him, and I dared not look away from his gaze in-case I were to break the circuit.

He seemed to be considering something, fighting some internal battle with himself, and I could confidently guess what it was.

With everything upon us; my spiralling health, our dodgy dealings, an uncertain future - and, maybe, a connection that would never be found again - it seemed like there was really only one thing left to do, to try; only one bridge left to cross.

I leaned in and kissed him lightly, lovingly even. It was an airy, testing kiss, one full of meaning and uncertainty, yet devoid of desperation like before.

And he responded tenfold, in a way that was so true to his character, yet could never be presumed, nor taken for granted. He crushed his lips onto mine; soft and careful at first and then rough, urgent and forceful. He explored my mouth slowly, and I reached my hand up to tangle through his hair. It was not yet as long as it had once been, but I could grab a handful, and that was enough. I tugged lightly, moving his head with my desire, yet never daring to break contact.

Eventually, we parted for air, panting into the quiet of the apartment. I could see his lips glistening from where I'd been, his mouth was open too, and his eyes were wide and wild.

"Shit, V..." He said quietly, and I wanted to say something back, to let him know that I wanted this, maybe even needed it. But he didn't need to be told; he knew me inside and out, after all.

It was like a damn broke then, like we were both scared of any possible regret, so we moved quickly and without thinking. I pulled my shirt over my head and flung it to the side, before ripping my jeans off as fast as I could. Johnny moved just as hastily; our clothes falling together into a heap at the side of my bed. He ran his eyes over my body, looking at me naked as though this was the first time. I supposed, in a way, it was. He had never seen me from his own perspective, not really. And I had never seen him like this; honest, exposed, and utterly himself.

We fell into the mattress quickly, our legs a jumble, our hands greedily exploring the ridges and curves of one another. My fingers flinched at the cool of his metallic arm and slowed over his scars, tracing through every detail. He mirrored me; slowing around my curves and caressing the skin there, while breathing softly into my ear. His hands searched lower and lower, until they reached where I most wanted them to be.

The electricity flew through me again, and it didn't take long for low moans to escape my lips. I guessed that this was what all that experience had gifted Johnny; he was a true pro, playing me like one of his most prized guitars.

White lights danced along my vision and my mind went blank as I came. Johnny rocked me through it gently, though his breathing was jagged and... impatient.

" _Turn around_." He whispered in my ear, the feeling of his breath alone sending chills down my spine.

In the afterglow, I didn't much care where or how we did it, as long as it was this, as long as we were together.

I turned around obediently, and felt his hands grip firmly onto my hips. He slapped my ass lightly and readied himself with care, slowly and purposely, as though he was savouring the moment, the journey. And with a hitched breath he thrust in suddenly, wholly.

Johnny started softly, slowly even, but he quickly transformed his technique, his pace, into one more fitting to who he was, who I'd seen him be. He wasn't playing around, not anymore. And he was no longer here for just me, but for himself too.

He moved vigorously, and we filled the room with inhuman noise, until I was seeing stars. And then, with a devilish gleam in his eye he flipped me over, and again, and again...

I don't know when we ended up on the floor, but we did. I was on top, and then I was beneath, with the cool of the lino hitting against my spine only adding to the sensation. I yelled a million different expletives as I came again, giving myself fully to the outrageousness of today, of Johnny.

Time had no meaning, but I could sense Johnny's exhaustion, for it echoed my own. I mean, we'd migrated around the room twice over by now. So it was nice when we made our way back to the bed, cheeks red and bodies sweaty. He looked into my eyes purposefully this time, scanning every inch of me as we moved and breathed together, one entity - and not for the first time. In truth, I felt a little self-conscious at the intensity of his stare, but that didn't deter him. In fact, seeing my expression change with each new angle, each new rhythm, provided him with a greater range of study.

Suddenly, he grabbed both my hands away from himself, and hoisted them above my head until they almost hurt. He thrust deeply one, twice, three times... and then an almost musical note escaped him. I could feel that he was done, but he stayed with me for a moment longer, savouring the feeling.

The he rolled off me and closed his eyes, hands on his chest, waiting for his heart-beat to return to normal. I would have done the same, but I doubted it ever would.

"See what all the fuss is about." I breathed weakly, letting my brain come down from the high it was riding.

"Yea, I know." He agreed, never one to shy away from a compliment.

We both rolled over to look at each other, illuminated strangely by the neon lights that flooded through the dark.

"This is... weird." I said, quietly.

"You're telling me." He breathed, shrugging slightly.

"Good though." I yawned.

Johnny stiffened at that.

"Christ, V. That's all it took to make you want to fuckin' sleep?"

"Guess so." I whispered, my body relaxing into the mattress.

The last thing I heard before I blacked out was Johnny's dark chuckle.


	19. Calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eeeek sorry this took so long

Somewhere, someone's holo was beeping. He really wished whoever the fuck's it was would hurry up and answer the goddamn thing, it was starting to piss him off.

His mind wondered delicately along the cusp of sleep and consciousness, brief flashes of last nights... shenanigans with V, playing lightly against his sleeping eye. He could have stayed like that forever, locked in his blissful 'best bits' reel that played on loop, all troubles of the future, woes of the past, forgotten.

The holo beeped again, louder this time. It was close.

It was _his_.

" _Fuck!_ " he groaned, peeling his eyes open, forcing himself into the waking world. He didn't even bother to sit up.

V was still pressed against him, deep in sleep. She hadn't so much as stirred, the lucky bastard.

He pulled his arm up and stared at the screen through blurry eyes. "The fuck is it?" He asked, keeping his voice low - yet it's latent anger was no less severe.

It was Judy, and she was at her desk. Looked like she'd been there all night, if the bags under her eyes were anything to go by. With any luck, she'd been unloading the data cache he'd sent her. Girl always did work fast, at least whenever V was involved.

"You speak like that to everyone who helps you?" She sneered, the Mox inside her rearing its head.

"Yea, actually." Yawned Johnny. "Especially when they call 'fore noon."

She rolled her eyes. "You rockerboys need your beauty sleep, huh?"

"Should try it sometime." he almost groaned into his pillow, no heat to his words.

God... Judy had pulled him outta preem-tier dreamworld just to be a bitch. Great.

She ignored him, "V - where is she?"

Johnny, without actually moving his torso, lifted his arm and angled his holo so that V's sleeping head, half hidden beneath the duvet, was in view.

He was almost certain that he heard Judy's jaw hit the floor.

"The fuck? Are you _two..?_ " She shook her head. "No, actually, wait. Do not answer that. Don't wanna' know."

Johnny ignored her, uncaring as to what she thought. Besides, a little part of him wanted people to know.

"V, wakey wakey!" he said, giving her shoulder a light push.

She groaned, retreating beneath the duvet further. When he kept nudging her, she growled.

"5 more minutes Johnny, Jesus!"

That was so like V.

She was an anxious motherfucker every waking moment of the goddamn day; a million thoughts, plans, and gonked theories flowing through their once shared consciousness. Never a moment's peace in her head. At the start, it had almost driven him insane. But, despite her absolute perfectionism and given how she was, in his opinion, completely consumed by her job and the demands of the streets, she'd never had any trouble sleeping.

Not like him; at the height of his 'terrorist' days he'd chugged a bottle of whatever he could get his hands on and topped it off with a dozen downers. Nothin' shut off his anxious mind like some pills.

Whatever, he knew she was better than him... more stable. Hadn't needed to be in her head to see that.

"It's Judy," He continued. "Wants to talk to ya'. Wants to know if we're fucking, too." He finished, a smirk on his lips. He loved irritating the shit outta V, almost as much as he loved boning her.

Well, it worked anyways.

She sat up quickly, hair crazed, eyes guilty. She looked at Johnny venomously, before her eyes found Judy on the holo.

Judy laughed, "Mornin' V."

"Judy... morning." Cringed V, making a half-effort to smooth down her hair. "Whatever he said, _please ignore_."

Judy laughed. "None of my business, V. Fucking _weird_... but none of my business."

Yep, there was a bitta judgement there... but Johnny put that down to jealousy. He'd seen how Judy looked at her, even if V was too gonked to admit it.

Swallowing down her embarrassment, V got straight to business. "So..." she began, getting out of bed and starting her usual nervous pacing. Johnny guessed that she was grateful she'd chosen to put PJ's on half-way through the night, despite his protests. "What's the sitch?"

"Well... got the data load. A fuck tonne of it, too. Blanket software worked a charm, no ones gonna be tracing it any time soon. Won't even show on the cache you sent the client."

"Judy... that's awesome." breathed V, relief practically flooding out of her. "Thanks, by the way. Sorry you were dragged into all this."

Her eyes went to her feet for just a moment, but Johnny saw it. She felt like shit for this. V worked solo as often as possible; meant less casualties, less guilt. Made sense to him before, didn't now. Now, she meant too much to him, and he didn't care who got caught in the crossfire.

Judy rolled her eyes. "Don't mention it. Wasn't gonna leave you high and dry, 'sides, owed you one."

V smiled, but it was small. "Keep your eyes open, yea? This guy... he's a major player, and not too sure who he's with."

"Johnny warned me. First sign of shit I'm cruising back to Oregon, so don't sweat it." Judy told her, intent on making her feel better.

Judy wasn't a gonk; she was well aware that she'd got herself wound up in some next level shit. People like Blue Eyes were unpredictable and powerful, escape plans be damned. No matter how far you ran, the corps reach ran further. Despite that, she'd still done what he'd asked of her - and with flying colours.

V had that affect, he supposed. Couldn't exactly abandon the only good thing that Night City had ever managed to spit out, especially when she was in her moment of need.

"Sweet, yea. Great." V chimed back, sounding a little more collected. Good.

Johnny finally felt alive enough to pull himself from the bed, and sat perched along the side.

"So," he began, reaching across V's nightstand for a cig. "What _was_ the data?"

V's head snapped up to look at him, her cheeks a violent shade of red.

"For fucks sake Johnny, put some pants on!" She snapped, as if she was violently offended.

"The fuck?" He demanded, abandoning the cig and putting his hands up defensively. "She can't even see me!" He nodded towards the holo, towards Judy.

V had positioned the device so that it was directed firmly at her, and far, _far_ away from him.

Johnny was in half a mind to get up and make himself a coffee butt-ass naked, Judy be damned. But V wasn't letting up with her glare.

"Christ, V!" He moaned, finally giving in and pulling on his leather trousers. "Pretty fucking rich of you acting like a prude _now_ , after -"

"Right!" Interrupted Judy quickly, clearly uncomfortable. "This is... awful to listen to. How 'bout you two just get down here ASAP and I'll explain. Probably be easier in person, anyways."

V, cringin' more than he'd ever seen, gave Judy a grateful glance. "Yea, thanks. See you in an hour?"

"Preem." said Judy, with a knowing smirk. And then she was gone.

V lowered the holo slowly, before rounding on Johnny.

"Overshare, much?!" She practically yelled, throwing a nearby magazine at him.

He caught it easily, and took a glance at the front page. Was a gun mag, nice. He'd have to flick through it later.

Noticing he wasn't gearing up to fight her on this, she went to grab another.

"So, this a secret thing?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

V sighed, defeated and lowered the mag.

"No." She cemented sternly, and she turned to her wardrobe, picking out an outfit for the day and muttering to herself.

" _Not like you could keep a secret even if ya' tried, goddamn huge mouth... even bigger ego..._ " she practically whispered into her clothes rail.

That surprised him. Johnny cared for V... a lot. Maybe too much. Maybe more than he liked to really delve into. But V was wild, kinda like him in that regard. And he couldn't be sure that it wasn't just fear, exhaustion and their impossible, yet initially forced, closeness that pushed her into his arms last night. He didn't think she was going anywhere, no way. But he hadn't been sure how permanent a fixture V wanted him to be in her life, especially when it came to... well, that _type_ of intimacy.

He was shit at talking about stuff like this though, and evidently, so was she.

"Your problem, V... is you care too much what people think." He said, pulling on the rest of his outfit from last night. It was true. She was embarrassed that Judy had seen them together like that.

She huffed. "Don't care what _you_ think." And she pulled out that god-awful frosted trench coat from her collection.

"Clearly." He said, eyeing up the trench.

She flipped him off, and pulled it on. God, she still managed to shine, despite the coats best efforts.

"You embarrassed 'cause I'm outta your league?" He jabbed, finally lighting his craved-for cig.

She ignored his teasing, yet clung to the wording. "Not _embarrassed_ , just..." she phased, pulling on her boots.

Then she turned to look at him, her bright blue eyes searching his darker ones, and he almost choked on his smoke.

V was a street rat through and through; from her shitty hair to her shittier accent. Was part of her 'image', she'd once told him; like a character from the screamsheets. But when she got intense, got honest, and that all fell away, she became... someone else. Right now, as she stood in front of him, just them, she took on the appearance and vitality of someone mature, worldly, even. She didn't look like a gonked kid in a shitty coat, instead she looked like a class-A merc, who'd died a couple times, and was ready to do it a couple more. She was herself, in her truest, simplest, form.

"This thing between us, Johnny..." she motioned to the space between them with her hands. "Feels _right_."

He nodded, taking another puff.

"But this gig's got me on edge; can't count my chickens just yet..." She finished, looking lost, as if the answers to all her - _their_ \- problems were strewn across the city. For all they knew, maybe they were. 

"So... I'm a fuckin' chicken?" he asked gruffly, humour in his tone despite himself.

She rolled her eyes.

"I hear ya, V."

And he did. There was no point in getting too committed, too invested in somethin' that mightn't be there tomorrow... it was sound advice, but Johnny rarely listened to advice - especially the good kind.

"Let's just... get to Judy, see Blue Eyes... survive this. Then we can run off into the sunset together."

He imagined her finally taking Panam and her concrete rats up on their offer, dragging him along for the dusty ride. Panam wouldn't like it, but she'd put up with him, for V's sake.

"You see that for us? Real romantic V, didn't take you for the type." He joked.

"Yea well... I half didn't expect you to be here when I woke up."

He laughed at that. " _Touche_." and he stubbed out his cig, watching the smoke fade away into nothing.

He pulled on his jacket - the Samurai one - it was an item that connected them both, through realities and lifetimes. Weird to think that it meant more to him now than it ever had, even at the height of his fame.

He went to model it for her, hoping she would fake fan-girl for him - but she'd disappeared into her stash room. She returned a moment later, holding his Malorian.

"Would love to say you won't need it but..." she mused, handing it to him.

He took it from her gently and flipped it around, loading it in the way that only he could. It always impressed her; and he knew it.

She smiled - yep, definitely impressed - stretched up onto her tip toes, grabbed his hair roughly and brought him into a quick kiss. It was strong and warm and needy... and then it was over.

He raised one eyebrow as she pulled away, almost daring her to go further. But they had a gig to finish, a life to save.

He sighed. "You're a fuckin' tease, you know?"

She gave a suggestive smile and proceeded out the door.

"No weird shit in front of Judy." she warned, as they stepped out into the lively hum of the megabuilding.

"Wouldn't even dream of it." he droned, his tone laden with dishonesty.


End file.
